Losing Yourself
by CDV10
Summary: Chris Jericho's attitude towards himself and those around him takes a turn for the worst... but no one knows why.. except for one person. JerichoSteph
1. Anger & Hurt

_ .. hehe. I love Jericho/Steph, I dunno.. maybe it's just me. OH YEAH! These characters are all owned by WWE Inc. Yeah I'm running on *extremely* low sleep right now..  
  
NO ROSTER SPLIT IN THIS STORY! I mean, I like people from Raw and people from Smackdown, and I want both in my story. So just preteeeeeend.. thanks! Don't forget to R&R, pleeease. Lookit, I asked nicely, lol. ;)  
  
~ - ~  
  
People don't understand me. How could they even begin to? Maybe it's just me. Perhaps it's my fault, as everyone loves to tell me. Oh yeah, there's Chris Jericho, let's all put the blame on him. Never mind that he has feelings. Well.. used to have anyways. People don't seem to expect that much from me. That would've bothered me once upon a time, but now, I don't give a damn anymore.  
  
Let them think what they want. I don't need anybody. I used to feel hurt when my supposed friends turned on me. I used to feel angered when Stephanie McMahon, along with her (then) husband, always foiled my plans. Stephanie.. is another story though. I don't feel much nowadays. I spent so much time trying to establish and explain myself that I forgot what it was for. Now it just feels like a huge waste of time.  
  
That's where the drinking comes in. It helps me to cancel everything out, cancel out problems, cancel out stupid morons who can't tell the difference between the asshole I have to be on camera, to the guy I really am. Maybe it won't solve my problems. But it sure as hell is doing the trick right now. That's all that matters. No one knows who I really am anyways.. no one understands.  
  
"What's up, Jericho?" I don't bother to look up, since I know who's speaking to me. I heard the ape-nose snort as he stood directly in front of me. I closed my eyes for a brief second before looking up at Triple H. He made me laugh, he was so pathetic. He thought that just because we NOW had something in common, I would forget about our past. He doesn't understand, doesn't realize that I never forget.  
  
"Get away from me, Hunter." I said evenly, watching as he frowned. Oh no, the big bad Hunter was after me now. I don't care anymore, to be honest. I know that I can take him on, if given the opportunity. Besides, even if I get my ass kicked, it won't be the first time.  
  
"You know, I was coming here to ask for you assistance in my match later on, but I guess maybe I won't anymore."  
  
"Good, because I wouldn't have agreed to it anyways."  
  
"I knew it, you're pathetic, Jericho. Weak, pathetic, I told Naych (A/N: Is this how you'd spell it?) that I shouldn't have asked you. I knew you were a coward - "  
  
That's all I could hear. His words triggered an anger inside of me. Now I was a coward? Because I had refused to help him? He was the coward for wanting me to help him in the first place. He was a cheater, that's all. Getting up to my feet, I pulled my fist back and decked Triple H as hard as I could in the face. My knuckles were stinging after the blow, but I didn't care.  
  
"Don't you ever fucking call me that again." I said in a low voice as I looked down at the fallen Hunter. I couldn't help but feel even a tinge of satisfaction when I saw his look of total surprise. He obviously hadn't expected for me to strike him down. Not giving him the chance to answer, I spun around and walked off, away from him.  
  
You don't need to see the looks from people to know when you're being watched. My hands in my pockets, on the outside, I looked calm. On the inside though, hell if I knew what was going on. There was an anger inside of me, that ran deep, and I had no idea where it was coming from, or what would trigger it. Hunter had only had a brief, extremely brief meeting with it. I was scared to imagine what I'd do to the person who really pissed me off one day.  
  
I didn't really enjoy the looks from people though. I had to clench my fists in my pockets to stop myself from grabbing the nearest wrestler and just beating the shit out of him, before daring him to look at me like that again. I've been this restless for about a year, since last year's Wrestlemania when I lost against Triple H. I used to be such a calm guy, but I've changed. I used to do a great job of hiding that change, hiding how I really felt. But now, it didn't feel worth it anymore. Let the world see me for who I am. If they didn't like it..... tough. I didn't like it much either.  
  
"Chris!"  
  
I stopped walking but didn't turn around at the voice. I knew everyone there. I knew them all by voice. Right then, all I wanted to do was head back to my hotel and sleep. I could already feel an oncoming headache coming on. Some drinks would also be very helpful. But I didn't keep walking, I stopped and waited, until Stephanie McMahon had caught up with me.  
  
"Chris!" She said again, out of breath as she stopped running. I looked at her impatiently, my headache getting worse and my patience running thin.  
  
"What? Speak, I don't have all damn night." I said, trying my hardest not to snap at her. I knew full well that she didn't put up with anyone's attitude, much less mine. That's what I respected about her. That was the trait I loved about her.  
  
"Oh don't you DARE give me an attitude, Chris Jericho. You just gave Triple H a black eye! What the hell is your problem?"  
  
"Nothing's my problem, alright?" I said, before turning away from her. "He got what he had coming." I shrugged, as if that would get her off my back. I was about to walk away when I felt her hand on my shoulder. To anyone watching, it wasn't that big of a gesture. That's only because they didn't know. They didn't understand.  
  
~ - ~ Flashback:  
  
"I bought you these flowers."  
  
"They're so beautiful.." She took the bouquet from me and smelled the flowers, before smiling widely at me. My heart did a flip-flop, and I smiled back, though I could feel myself blushing.  
  
"I knew you'd like them." I said, my smile growing wider as she took my hand in hers. She leaned up and kissed me on the cheek.  
  
"I love them." She whispered, before moving down and giving me a real kiss. That's when she lost me and I knew that I was in love with this woman. That's also when my troubles began.  
  
~ Back to present ~  
  
"Leave me alone, Stephanie." I said quietly, but the anger was beginning to creep into my voice. "And get your hand off of me." I added, which she reluctantly did.  
  
"You're not being reasonable, you're not even letting me explain.." She began, but I didn't want to hear it.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." I said, cutting her off. My back was still to her, but I could feel her close by.  
  
"Chris.." She said, her voice trailing off. Here we go.. pretty soon the tears will start coming to. I was having none of that tonight.  
  
"Don't ever touch me again. Tell Hunter that if he has a problem with me, I'm here. Let him come tell me to my face what his problem is. I'll be more than happy to knock his ass down again. More than happy."  
  
She sighed behind me, and I took that as my cue to leave. Stephanie probably thought I was a jerk now. But who didn't? If that was supposed to bother me, it wasn't working. I knew that what I had, I was never getting back. Old friendships, old relationships.. long gone with the wind. I was fine with it. All I needed was myself and my beer. I didn't need Stephanie. It was obvious that she didn't need me either.  
  
I was determined to get by without her. And that was what I was going to do.  
  
~  
  
R&R, tell me if it's worth continuing. Have a nice day!!!! 


	2. How It Started

Disclaimer: These characters / names are owned by WWE Inc. And I apologize for not updating sooner, schedule's been hectic, but I'm going to post these things sooner. :) R&R, por favor. ;)  
  
~ - ~  
  
"I swear, I will beat the living shit out of you if you tell anyone, and I mean ANYONE that I'm here! Try me," I said, my jaw set as I glared at the man in front of me. He nodded slowly, before noting something in his notebook. "My friend told me I should see you, don't think that I came here on my own." I added, frowning.  
  
"And your friend's name would be..?"  
  
"Kurt Angle."  
  
"Ah yes, he's part of the family. In-laws." He added, before looking up at me. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."  
  
"Yeah you better not." I mumbled, glancing around the office. The great Chris Jericho, seeing a psychiatrist. Surprised? Rest assured, this was only going to be a one-time thing, just so I could really tell someone what happened. No way in hell was I going to let this shrink know what I was feeling.  
  
"Why don't you lie down, sir?"  
  
"I'd rather sit."  
  
"Alright," He said, leaning forward on his desk. "What happened to you that made you into the type of individual you are today?"  
  
I must have had a pissed off look on my face because he quickly rephrased his question.  
  
"I mean, what have you gone through that have contributed to these feelings of anger that you harbor?" He asked.  
  
"I'M NOT MAD!" I shouted, though not very convincingly. I could feel my heart start to beat faster as I started getting angrier.. and I didn't even know where this anger was coming from.  
  
"Would you like some water?" He asked, placing a glass of ice cold water in front of me. I scowled, but I took the water. I was thirsty. While I was drinking it, he leaned back in his chair. "Talk to me, Chris. Tell me what happened."  
  
I leaned forward and placed the now-empty glass on the top of his desk. Sighing, I sat back, the water cooling me off in more ways than one. This is when I began to tell my story, for the first time to anyone since it had happened.. not that long ago.  
  
~ - ~  
  
How could I have known.. I had no idea at the time. We were so happy, I'm pretty sure it was sickening to whoever saw us together. Now at the time, I wrestled for WCW. I'll be honest... I didn't really know who she was. She told me her name was Stephanie McMahon... I had no idea she was Vince McMahon's daughter, not even when I first met her...  
  
Hang on.. let me remember. I believe I was walking to my car the day I met her. This was, I don't know. Maybe.. eight or nine months before I joined Vince's company. I bumped into her, but I caught her before she fell down. Even then I knew something was special. She was gorgeous.  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry." I apologized to her. Yes, even I can be a gentleman.  
  
"It's okay, I'm not hurt." She said, before smiling at me. I almost dropped her again when I saw her smile. I didn't know it, but I had a smile on my face too.  
  
"That's good." I put her back on her feet, and was surprised. She was almost as tall as I was. The way she carried herself.. so strong, so independent. She still carries herself the same way today.  
  
I didn't even realize that we were both standing directly in front of each other, catching myself staring at her. I was blushing, man, I was nervous. I didn't know why, but suddenly, I was uncomfortable. But she just smiled and handed out her hand to me.  
  
"My name's Stephanie." She said, formally. I loved how her voice sounded so professional. Reaching out, I took her hand in mine and shook it.  
  
"Chris."  
  
"Nice to meet you, Chris."  
  
"Back at you, Stephanie."  
  
That was it. I was already running late to the show I had to be at, and she had a meeting she had to go to. So we exchanged our goodbyes, and that was our first meeting. I didn't think I'd ever see her again, but I was wrong. I did see her again, that same night. It's funny now that I think about it, how I can still remember all of this..  
  
I stepped into the elevator in my hotel that night, only to find that the same girl I had met earlier, Stephanie, was there with me. We hit it off, right off the bat. She turned out to be nice, and sweet. I was glad there was more to her than just looks alone.  
  
"I don't like these elevators, they're so unsafe." She said, wrinkling up her nose a little while I laughed.  
  
"Oh come on, they're only unsafe if there's a fire or something." I said, teasingly. The topic of our professions never came up. It was... innocent flirting, if you will.  
  
The elevator stopped, and we both stepped out. Turned out we were on the same floor. I hesitated, but I ended up asking for her phone number. She said, in response, that she traveled a lot. I remember thinking how ironic that was, because I also did a lot of traveling. Hell, I still do. We ended up just exchanging our cell phone numbers.  
  
A few weeks passed, and I didn't hear from Stephanie again since the day I met her. Then one night, I was pretty bummed out in my hotel room. I don't remember why, only that it had been one of those days. I was going through my wallet, when I came across her phone number. It took a while, but I remembered whose number it was. I thought about it, before thinking, "what the hell". I called her, and sure enough, she answered.  
  
We started talking, and whatever was bothering me that day, I completely forgot about. Just by talking to her! Needless to say, we started calling each other more and more, early in the day. This is where it got kind of tricky. She never told me who she really was, and vice versa. I told her my name, and I said I worked for a company that did a lot of traveling. She, in turn, said her father *OWNED* a company, so she had to travel as well. We left talk of our professions at that.  
  
"Come on, I want to see you." I can still hear myself saying.. foolish, now that I think about it, but like I said.. I didn't know at the time.  
  
"Oh really? Well I'll have you know Chris, lots of guys want to see me." She answered from her end. "What makes you so darn special, hmmm?"  
  
"Those guys aren't as important!" I said, smiling when I heard her laugh. "Come on, don't leave me hanging.. just for lunch, how's that?"  
  
"Alright, lunch it is. How does Friday, at noon sound?"  
  
"Sounds like a date." I teased. It was all right though. I had been talking to her for about a month, we were always teasing each other. Basically, that's how we got to our first date. It was nice, and I honestly enjoyed her company. When I left, I remember thinking.. man Chris, you have got to hang out with this girl more.  
  
That's what I did. We called each other more.. we met up once every few days. It didn't take long for me to realize that she was the perfect girl. I couldn't focus that much at work anymore, I was thinking about her all the time! Damn woman.. but anyways.. Cupid hit me bad back then. She gained my heart, and I told her so, like three months later.. it was a beautiful night..  
  
"Look, Chris!" She had pointed, as we held hands. I looked up into the sky, where she was pointing. The night was clear, and the stars were clearly visible. We both stopped walking as we looked up. I'm not much of a stars kind of guy, but it was a pretty cool sight.  
  
"Yeah.. gorgeous.. like you." Cheesy? I didn't think so at the time. Just saying what I honestly felt, but it caught Stephanie by surprise.  
  
"You mean that?" She said, before smiling. I couldn't see her smile enough.  
  
"Of course I mean that." I said as I turned to face her. "You're beautiful.. any guy who says anything else is blind.." I had used this very hand to caress her face, softly. I didn't want to scare her, but she seemed visibly touched by my words. Something inside of me turned, because the next thing I knew, I had leaned in to kiss her.  
  
The best part was that she was kissing me back. I didn't need to tell her that I loved her, because she could feel it in my kiss. I still told her anyways though. It was my way of cementing it. To my surprise.. she said she loved me too. I hugged her that night, and I remember thinking to myself how much I wanted to just hold her forever. That's how we hooked up, so to say.. too bad it didn't last.  
  
~ - ~  
  
"Hmmm, well. Something must have happened for you to feel the way you do today, no? Kurt has mentioned that you have somewhat of a temper problem. You just can't seem to hold it in check."  
  
"Look, whatever." I said, scowling. "I told you what I said I'd tell you. That's how me and Stephanie started dating."  
  
"Yes, but everything that you've told me is positive. Something bad must have happened."  
  
"Yeah well something bad DID happen, Mr. Smartass!" I shouted. "What, do you want me to tell you EVERYTHING?!"  
  
"Only if it helps, Chris." The doctor said as he wrote something down. I grew quiet, with my arms crossed over my chest. He looked up at me after a short while. "Well?" He asked.  
  
"Look, I don't have time to tell you the rest. I have to go, I have a show I need to get to." I stood up and walked over to the door.  
  
"Yes, that's fine. But Chris.. it'll help if you just let it out."  
  
I stopped to think about it. Me, going to see a shrink regularly. Well, he was right. I needed to let out someway. Keeping it bottled up inside wasn't going to help me.  
  
"Alright... I'll come by next week." I said.  
  
"See you then."  
  
I left the office, and it was already dark out. I frowned as I saw my motorcycle clouded up with a bunch of high school kids. As I made my way over, most of the kids scattered, obviously scared of me. One big, tough wannabe senior stayed on my bike.  
  
I stopped walking directly in front of him.  
  
"Get off of my bike." I said warningly. He just looked at me and sneered. He was taller than I was, but maybe around a hundred pounds less in weight. He thought because he was taller, that he was stronger. Dumbass kid.  
  
"Yeah, well why don't you make me? Yeah, that's what I ---" He landed on his backside with a thud on the concrete. I shook my fist off for a second before mounting onto my bike. Instead of thinking crude and insulting thoughts about the kid I had just knocked the hell out of, I couldn't help but think about what I had told the doctor.. that being Stephanie.  
  
No. I wasn't going to fall for it a second time. Next week I'd talk with this psychiatrist, and if nothing else worked, I'd just find a new girl. Stephanie wasn't going to play me again. I drove off towards the show, looking forward to next week. 


	3. Memories

"Excuse me, Chris Jericho." I heard a voice say. Not even a damn minute to myself, but what else is new? I frowned and looked over my shoulder, not bothering to stop. I had just talked to a shrink! I didn't need to talk to anybody. In being mad, I didn't hear the annoyance in the voice that spoke to me.  
  
"What do you want, Stephanie?" I asked as I looked ahead. She caught up to me, and grabbed me by the arm. We both stopped walking as I turned back to look at her. A thousand memories came down on me at the same time. Good times, when I gave this girl my love, everything I had. Bad times, when she took my heart and single-handedly broke it. Then reality hit and I remembered that it was a thing of the past..  
  
"Chris, are you listening to me?" She said, snapping her fingers in front of my face. My eyes re-focused. I had blanked out for a moment there.  
  
"No." I said, making her sigh heavily. She raised her hand to her forehead, before taking a deep breath. I stood motionless in front of her, waiting for her to repeat herself so I could leave already. "Well?" I asked after a short bit, starting to get impatient.  
  
"You have a match tonight." She said, looking back up at me.  
  
"Wow, I never would have thought I'd actually have a match." I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "It's only what I get paid for, after all.."  
  
"Against Brock Lesnar, no holds barred."  
  
I closed my eyes momentarily, visualizing myself being lifted into an F5. I shook my head and looked back at Stephanie, who now had a concerned look on her face. Frowning, I turned away from her and walked off.. but she followed me.  
  
"Leave me alone, Stephanie!" I shouted, not in the mood. She never listens anyway. Catching up to me again, she grabbed my arm. This time though, she pulled me into a room. Obviously Stephanie could never pull me around if I didn't want her to. It's not that I wanted her to pull me into a room, it's that she caught me by surprise in doing so.  
  
She locked the door and I yanked my arm out of her grip. I turned to the door but she leaned back against it, her arms folded over in front of her. Feeling my blood start to rush through me and my patience wearing extremely thin, I bit my bottom lip and closed my eyes, trying to calm down.  
  
"Stephanie.." I started, as I opened my eyes to look at her. "If you don't get the hell out of my way.."  
  
"What? You'll hit me?" She said, acting scared. "I'm not moving."  
  
"If you don't move, I'm going to MAKE you move." I said in a low voice. By this time, we were face-to-face. Her steel eyes looking into my intimidating ones, neither willing to budge first.  
  
"We need to talk." She finally said.  
  
"There's nothing to talk about."  
  
"I hear you're drinking?" She asked, while I groaned loudly.  
  
"Stephanie I am trying very hard not to lose my temper.. so what if I drink?" I scoffed. "Not like you fucking care anyways, right? Now *open.. the.. door*."  
  
Calmly, she raised her hand and put it against my chest. She then proceeded to push me back, to give her some breathing room, I suppose. I shoved her hand off of me.  
  
"Don't touch me." I warned. "Don't you ever touch me again."  
  
"Chris." She said, sighing. "Drinking's not going to help.."  
  
"Stephanie, don't you fucking stand there and tell me what I can and can't do, okay?!"  
  
"God damn it, Chris! Why are you doing this?" She cried out. She reached out to me, but I turned away, giving her my back. "Why are you being like this..?"  
  
"I don't want to hear it. I do as I please, when I please."  
  
"Chris.. I am so sorry." She whispered, and the words gave me chills. I stayed quiet for a while, those words calming me down immensely. Now all that was left was hurt. "I'm so sorry for what I said.. what I did.."  
  
"Sorry's not going to cut it anymore." I whispered back. It was then that we heard a loud voice on the other side of the door, calling for Stephanie. It didn't take that long for me to realize it was Triple H. That bastard.  
  
"I have to go." She said, but I could feel her eyes on me. "But.. be careful in your match."  
  
"Why? You never fucking cared before if I was hurt or not." I said, feeling the bitterness creep back into me. "Just go, get out of here. Let me be."  
  
It took a few moments, but that's what she did. She left me in the room, the door closing behind her. I couldn't help but feel like she had just walked out of my life. But that was impossible. She had already taken that walk. And I was not going to let her back in.  
  
~ - ~  
  
I made a mistake. Only this mistake was going to cost me. I went to hit Brock in the face, but I didn't time it right. He ducked, and before I knew it, he had me up on his shoulders. This was worse than what I had pictured in my head earlier. Earlier, I had seen Brock deliver the F5 to me.. on the mat.  
  
Brock spinned off, dropping me hard. The impact would have hurt enough on the mat. But I tasted steel upon my landing, since Brock had chosen to perform the move right there, on the steel ramp. As soon as I landed, a white light flashed, and I could feel the pain for a brief second before everything went black.  
  
~ - ~ Flashback:  
  
"Lance man.. I feel like something's wrong." I said, looking up at my friend as I laced up my boots.  
  
"What do you mean? You made her sound like Ms. Perfect." He answered.  
  
"Yeah I know man, but it feels like.. she's not all there anymore."  
  
"She's probably cheating on you." He joked, but I frowned as I finished tying my boots. "I'm just playing, Chris."  
  
"It's not funny." I said softly.  
  
"Chris.. I was just joking. Yes, I have a sense of humor." Lance said, his face as serious as ever.  
  
"I know.. but she's been smelling a lot like after-shave lately." I said, looking up at him.  
  
"Maybe she likes it."  
  
"I don't know.."  
  
"If she's smart, she wouldn't cheat on a guy like you."  
  
"I hope you're right."  
  
~ End of Flashback ~  
  
"Chris, can you hear me?" I heard someone ask. There was a light shining in my eye, but for some reason or another, it didn't bother me as much as it should have. Then the pain began to slowly creep up through me, until it started to become unbearable. My head felt like it had just exploded. The voices all swam around, and I couldn't focus on one in specific.. but I knew that one of them was hers..  
  
~ - ~ Flashback:  
  
"Chris, I have something I need to tell you."  
  
"What is it, babe?" I said, wrapping my arms around her waist. She let the contact be for a few moments, before grabbing my arms.  
  
"Let go of me."  
  
I heard something in her voice, and it didn't sound good. I let her go and looked at her curiously as she turned around to face me. There was no smile on her face this time.  
  
"What's wrong, Steph?" I asked, starting to get a little worried.  
  
"This."  
  
"What?" I asked, confused.  
  
"Me and you. It's over, Chris."  
  
"Wh-what?" I was stunned.. this was coming directly out of the blue. "But.. are you breaking up with me?"  
  
"Yes, I am."  
  
"You're playing.." I said, smiling nervously.  
  
"I'm not, it's over." She said firmly.  
  
"But.. why?"  
  
"Because, Chris. I can't be with you anymore. I'm.. with someone else."  
  
"You cheated on me.." my voice trailed, and I stopped it before it could start to crack. My whole world felt shattered.  
  
"Don't call me anymore. Just.. forget you ever knew me.."  
  
"But Steph.. I love you." I said, tears stinging in my eyes. She turned her back and walked to the door.  
  
"Goodbye, Chris." Then the door clicked shut, and I stood there, wondering what had just happened. How could something so perfect, end so fast and so hard? We had been dating for six months. Six strong months, she had been my girl, only to leave me at the drop of a hat. What a world.. and the worst part was yet to come..  
  
~ End of flashback. ~  
  
"Why do we have to be here?" I heard someone ask.  
  
"Because my dad told us to." A female answered, annoyed. She was lying though. I knew she was.. I could tell. That wasn't the reason why she was here.  
  
"He'll live." The man said, sounding bored.. impatient.  
  
"He will." She answered him, with an attitude.  
  
"What the hell's your problem?"  
  
"What's yours?"  
  
"Stephanie, don't start."  
  
"How about you don't start. You with your stupid attitude."  
  
"What?" Triple H said, sounding angry.  
  
"Shhh, shut up." She said, before grabbing my hand. "Chris? You awake?"  
  
"Stephanie?" I asked, wanting to make sure it was her.  
  
"Yeah." She answered. I opened my eyes, and after a few moments, things started to clear up. Triple H, black eye and all, was sitting on a chair, arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face. Triple H and Steph had decided to try again. Stupid if you asked me, but it's not like I cared anymore.  
  
Then I realized what had happened. Brock had F5'd me, now I was in a hospital. Stephanie was here with me. I scowled and shook my head.  
  
"Get out." I said. Stephanie looked at me like if I was gravely ill and about to die.  
  
"Chris.. it's okay. Brock F5'd you on steel.. head-first. You'll be okay.." She said, concerned as she brushed some hair out of my face.  
  
"I don't think I stuttered." I mumbled, starting to get pissed off. Her mere presence around me in a hospital was enough to bring back bad memories. "Get the hell out."  
  
"But Chris.."  
  
"Let's go, Stephanie." Triple H said as he stood up. Triple H.. strong, smart bastard. Ignorant could also be added to the list. He didn't have a clue about the past Stephanie and I had had. He thought we had met each other when I started working for Vince's company. If only he knew..  
  
Stephanie hesitated, but she left with him. I closed my eyes, feeling the stinging pain in my head. If only it had all stopped the night she broke up with me. If only things had ended that night. But it didn't.. it was just the beginning. 


	4. I Don't Know You

Wow, it's been a while. I apologize, no excuses, really. I'm just a procrastinator. My next update won't take this long, since I'm out of school..  
  
~  
  
I must have hit my head harder than I thought, because the next day, I was back at David's. David was the psychiatrist Kurt referred me to. So maybe I wasn't thinking straight when I went back to him. I wasn't going to go back, but Vince gave me the whole week off to "recover" from that F5. I wasn't one to sit around and do nothing.  
  
"Chris, you're back." David said as he looked up at me from his desk. I ignored him and took a seat, kicking my feet up on his desk while I was at it. He looked like he was going to say something, when he noticed the nice, white bandage I was wearing around my head. "What happened?" He asked.  
  
"Work happened." I shrugged, as if it were no big deal. Then again, it wasn't a big deal to me. Shit happened.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Wouldn't be here if I wasn't, now would I?" I said evenly. He seemed to accept my answer and leaned forward in his chair, his hands folded.  
  
"Are you going to remove your feet from my desk?"  
  
"Are you going to make me?" I shot back. He sighed and put on his glasses, and leaned back.  
  
"Alright, Chris. What's on your mind?"  
  
I rubbed my chin as I gazed around his office, ignoring him for the time being. There was a part of me that was still in disbelief that I was there in the first place. But nothing else was working. I couldn't forget, and I couldn't move on. I was stuck, and I absolutely hated it..  
  
"Chris?"  
  
"Shut up, assclown." I said, frowning. I hated when people cut off my thoughts like that.  
  
"Just relax Chris. You're too tense."  
  
We stared at each other for about a minute before I sighed. "Fine." I said, lowering my feet from his desk. "So where did we leave off?"  
  
He flipped open his little notebook and looked over whatever he had written down. "Let's see.. we ended with Ms. McMahon breaking up with you."  
  
~ - ~  
  
So she really broke up with me. Now I had been with a lot of girls before, but never a girl quite like her. And it killed me. I wasn't into my work as much. As a matter of fact, work started to become a drag. I wanted out, not out of the business, but out of WCW. I don't know, I guess I just wanted a fresh start. So I began to look more into the WWE.  
  
I had grown up watching the WWE back when it was still called the WWF. It seemed like it was time for me to move on in my career. I started talking to J.R., and then to Vince himself. He understood me, and he offered me a contract. Just like that, I was the newest employee of his company.  
  
Excited as I was, I wasn't over Stephanie. I called her, and I called, and I called some more.. she never answered my calls. Eventually the number was disconnected. I remember when I heard that the number was no longer in service.. it hurt. I can't even describe how bad it hurt. She never even gave me the chance to talk to her, she never gave us another chance.  
  
I had to move on, and the WWE was my key. I was going to start fresh, start over. I wanted to become the heavyweight champion. I wanted to be larger than life. I wanted to be the best. So for the month or so that I had off from wrestling before I debuted, I just got away from it. I wanted to recharge my batteries before I arrived. This was going to be my big chance.  
  
I think that's where my mistake was. In getting away from the business for even a short while, I didn't watch the WWE. I left town for a while, met up with some family and some friends. It was great. Deep down, I was almost proud of myself for recovering from that break-up with Stephanie. I was glad to see that I could move on without her.. even though now, I realize I was just running from everything. Stephanie was nowhere near gone from my life, as I'd come to find out.  
  
The big day came, and it was even better than I imagined. I debuted with the WWE after build-up and lots of anticipation. I cut The Rock of all people off during one of his promos. I was on top of the world. It was everything I wanted, and then some. Once I got backstage, most people congratulated me, others didn't. I was the new guy. I had to earn my stripes. Others went out of their way to give me some advice. One of them was this guy by the name of Hunter..  
  
"Yo, Jericho." I heard someone call from behind me. I turned around and came face-to-face with this big, buff guy, who was taller than me. He had blonde hair, and a big nose. He smirked and grasped my shoulder. "Great job out there. You had them going crazy."  
  
"Thanks." I said, nodding. He didn't seem like such a bad guy.  
  
"Some of these fans know you, most don't. So try and get the crowd going behind you, and you'll make it big."  
  
I smirked myself. "That's what I plan on doing."  
  
"Good to hear." He said as he let go. "I'll see you around then."  
  
"Yeah, see ya."  
  
So I didn't think much of Hunter when I first met him. I saw him as a veteran that could probably help me reach some of the goals I had set for myself. I didn't see the asshole that he'd be later on. I should have though. That was another mistake.  
  
"Chris, good job out there." I turned at the sound of the voice of my new boss, Vince McMahon. He smiled at me and nodded. "Get to know some people around here, they'll be your co-workers."  
  
"Yes sir." I responded.  
  
"Here, I'm going to go get my daughter. She'll give you a tour and introduce you to some people."  
  
"Okay."  
  
So there I stood. Rocking on the back of my heels, waiting for my new boss's daughter to show up so I could meet some of the other wrestlers on the roster, I was oblivious to everything. The only thing on my mind was how much I was loving being there already. I was whistling, I was so happy.  
  
Then there she was. My jaw dropped when I saw her. She avoided eye contact with me as she shook the hands of several lawyers, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Still as gorgeous as ever, she was there. Then suddenly, everything clicked. I was so stupid not to have seen it earlier. She was Vince McMahon's daughter, she worked for his company. It was a surreal moment when I realized that as a WCW wrestler, I had gone out with the daughter of the guy who my boss considered his biggest enemy and rival.  
  
But none of it mattered to me. I didn't care about it. All I cared about was that she was there. Here she was, the girl who, for all I knew, had fallen off the face of the planet. I was happy to see her, and looking forward to talking to her again. After the lawyers left, she walked up to me. I smiled and, for that moment, forgot how she had hurt me. I didn't care. All I cared about was that she was there..  
  
"Chris Jericho." She said, formally. She stuck out her hand to me. "My name's Stephanie McMahon."  
  
Even her professional voice didn't deter me. I was star-struck, I was too excited to pay attention to the tone she used with me.  
  
"Steph.." Her eyes grew wide as I pulled her to me and hugged her tightly. I was overwhelmed, nothing could have been greater or better. Not only was I with a new company, but Stephanie was there. She was going to be traveling with me. It was the second chance I never got. It was too good to be true..  
  
"Let go of me." She said, as she pushed me off of her. I was too surprised to be hurt.. at the time, anyways. She dusted herself off as the smile left my face. It was as if I had some virus or something that she'd catch by hugging me. She turned and walked off, as confusion clouded what I should do next.  
  
"Follow me." She called out. I reluctantly did, as I tried to ignore the lump that I was beginning to feel in my chest. It was as if someone had taken a needle and burst my bubble. "So Chris Jericho, being the new wrestler, you don't get your own locker room. You'll get your own once you move up the ladder and get to main event level. You'll be sharing.." She went on and on, but I zoned out. I was in disbelief. She wasn't being impolite or rude to me. She never snapped at me or was sarcastic with me.. but that wouldn't have hurt that bad.  
  
Instead.. she acted like she never knew me.  
  
The rest of the night passed in a blur. I was introduced to other wrestlers, and almost got into a fight with The Rock backstage. But my overall excitement was gone. The whole time, I was trying to find out how Stephanie could just forget about us, forget about what we had. Sure.. she had cheated on me.. but to ignore me like she had never seen me before hurt more than that.  
  
So I waited until everyone left. I said goodbye to some wrestlers, but I wasn't in the mood anymore. The confusion, surprise and excitement gone, all that was left was anger. I was not one to be ignored.  
  
Stephanie walked past me on her way out, just like I knew she would. I reached out and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her out of the main hallway and into one of the side hallways.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Chris Jericho?!" She demanded, pulling her arm out of my grip. I must have looked pissed because she backed up away from me, until she was against the wall. Who am I trying to kid? I was pissed.  
  
"What the hell's the matter with you, Stephanie? How can you fucking look at me as if you've never seen me before in your life?"  
  
"This coming from the man who I dated that couldn't even tell me he worked for a major wrestling company." She said snidely.  
  
"This coming from the woman who I dated, who I *loved*, that couldn't even tell me she was the *daughter* of one of the richest men in the country?"  
  
"What? Is it all about the money to you, Chris?"  
  
"Stephanie, I don't give a fuck about the money. I only cared about you. You know that."  
  
"For all I know, I never met you, Chris Jericho, until today. My only past with you is the twenty minutes that I took out of *MY* busy schedule to introduce you to the other wrestlers on this roster."  
  
I was too stunned to reply. She had never met me? I felt like such a moron, like such an idiot. Here I was, practically getting sick from missing her so much, when she had just erased everything that we shared from her memory.  
  
"Now, if you'll excuse me." She said, shoving me back, away from her. "I have to go meet up with my *boyfriend*, Test."  
  
"Is that the guy you cheated on me with, Stephanie?" I asked in a low tone. I could already picture myself beating the hell out of him..  
  
"No. It doesn't matter anymore, Jericho. Get over it, just forget it ever happened."  
  
And with that, she left the arena, leaving me standing there, wondering how a woman could turn a great day into a painful one with just a few words and a professional tone.  
  
~ 


	5. Can't Let Go

A/N: All names and characters named are owned by WWE Inc. Except for David. He's MINE! Sorry about the lack of updates. I've been busy and even when I've had time to update, I've had writer's block.. x_x Well.. here you go. Enjoy. :)  
  
~ - ~  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"What's your freakin' problem?"  
  
I glanced up at Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle starting up an argument, then looked back down at the book I was reading. David recommended reading to try and calm my temper down. A week had passed and I was cleared to wrestle again. Not like I cared, but Vince cared.  
  
Then again, of course he cared. I brought ratings, and that's all they cared about.  
  
"That is totally not cool."  
  
"At least I didn't get my ass kicked by Kane!"  
  
"Would the both of you shut the fuck up and let me read this book?!" I shouted over their arguing. They both grew quiet as they turned to look at me. I shook my head and looked back down at the same page I had been looking at for the past 10 minutes. My mind kept wandering and it was almost impossible to get through the chapter, much less the story, but it gave me something to do.  
  
"Since when do you read, Chris?" Rob asked as he took a seat in the locker room we all were sharing.  
  
"Shut up, Van Dam." I answered, and he shrugged.  
  
"Suit yourself.." He said as the other wrestlers came in, arguing as usual. I tried to pay attention to them, but it seemed so pointless. Sighing, I closed my book and leaned back in my chair. Their voices and laughter droned on and on, mindless matters. I found it hard to believe that I had at one time joined in with them.  
  
"Hey Jericho, is it true what they say?" That voice brought me out of the daze I was in, and I looked over at Ric Flair. I glared at him, not answering, and he laughed.  
  
"What do they say?" Booker asked.  
  
"Whooo!!!" Ric let out, obviously enjoying having everyone's attention.  
  
"Is what true?" I asked as I looked back at my book. I opened it back up to the page I was on and picked up my reading.  
  
"They say you're seeing a shrink!!"  
  
I froze.  
  
"Chris seeing a shrink?"  
  
"What's up wit dat?"  
  
"Are you that crazy, ese?"  
  
The first person I glanced at was Angle. He looked at me curiously and shrugged. He knew David personally, so if David mentioned that I was going to him, then Kurt opened his big mouth..  
  
"It's true." Everyone stopped talking and we all looked over at the door. I felt my blood start rushing through me and I stood up slowly.  
  
"Is that right?" I asked dangerously. My fists were clenched at my sides. Hunter laughed and stepped inside, the door clicking shut behind him.  
  
"As a matter of fact, it is. I saw you myself, leaving the office. It's okay Jericho, we all knew you were a few beers short of a six pack." He patted me on the shoulder. His touch disgusted me.  
  
I don't know what happened. I guess I snapped. The next thing I knew was that Hunter was on the ground, and I was on top of him, beating the living shit out of him. I felt arms grab me and pull me off, but as soon as Hunter was standing again, he came after me. I pulled away from the boys holding me. It had erupted into a brawl.  
  
"STOP!"  
  
He kneed me in the stomach, making me double over. It pissed me off more.  
  
"I SAID STOP IT!"  
  
I looked up and swung up at his chin, nailing him and sending him backwards. He kicked my ankles and tripped me. As soon as I fell, I was restrained by like four of the wrestlers, and others were restraining Triple H. They pulled both of us up to our feet. I was about to break free and go kick his ass some more, when Stephanie McMahon stepped in between us.  
  
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" She shouted.  
  
"He started it!" Triple H yelled. I stared at him. He sounded like a school boy.  
  
"You're lucky I didn't end it, son of a bitch." I spat out.  
  
"Chris! Just let it go!" Stephanie said, exasperated. I blinked at her words, and my mind began to spin.  
  
~ * January, 2000 * ~  
  
"But Steph, don't you love me?"  
  
She tossed her hair behind her shoulders and laughed. God it sounded so evil.  
  
"Please. I have a real man now, Andrew."  
  
The wrestler known as Test sighed and walked away. I shook my head. Test didn't know much of anything. He was like Hunter, completely clueless. Stephanie, looking satisfied, spun around and caught sight of me. She gave me her trademark bitchy smirk, and walked up to me.  
  
"Were you listening to that?" She asked.  
  
"Couldn't help it." I answered. I was used to her attitude towards me. I was learning to accept it. Though it still hurt me, deep inside, I was slowly learning to cover up the hurt. I was learning how to play her game. But the games didn't begin until later.  
  
"I see.. well, good luck on your Intercontinental championship match. My *husband* is waiting for me."  
  
"By all means, don't let me stop you." I said, and she walked past me. I stood still for a few moments, then looked back at her. She embraced Hunter Hearst Helmsley, the World Heavyweight champion. It all clicked. She hadn't cheated on me with Test.. it was Hunter. Of course, she said it herself, she never loved Test. I believed that. She was with me, of course she couldn't go with a guy like Test.  
  
A month later, I called her on it.  
  
"You're STILL on that?" She asked, then laughed. This wasn't the laugh that I used to love. This was the McMahon laugh. I nodded and she shook her head.  
  
"Well, who was it?"  
  
"Fine, you want to know?!" She yelled. "It WAS Hunter, alright? Satisfied now?"  
  
"Was that so hard?" I said in a cold tone. She came up to me and ran her hand up my chest, then leaned so close that I could smell the scent of her shampoo. She smirked and leaned up to my ear, before kissing my cheek.  
  
"Chris.. just let it go." She whispered, then turned and walked away from me, not giving me another look.  
  
~ - ~  
  
"Chris? Chris!"  
  
I heard someone clap their hands in front of my face. I blinked and found myself looking right into Stephanie's eyes. I frowned and shook my head, looking away. I missed the concern that grew in her eyes when I did. I saw that Hunter was gone from the room.  
  
"What do you want?" I asked, turning away from her. I felt my lip start swelling up. Damn Triple H.  
  
"I just came in to see if you were okay.."  
  
"Don't give me bullshit, Stephanie." I said, picking up my book and sitting back down in the corner like I was before Hunter came in. Everyone else looked away from us. I guess they could feel there was some tension.  
  
"It's not bullshit. Chris, can I just talk to you?"  
  
"I'm reading. Would you mind shutting up, please?" I replied.  
  
She stood in front of me, looking at me. I knew she wanted to talk to me, but I couldn't talk to her. I could barely stand the sight of her. She stood there, but I just looked down at the same page in my book that I had been staring at. I could feel a lump forming in my chest. I hated how she had this effect on me. After a few seconds, she turned and left the locker room. I looked back up only when I heard the door click shut.  
  
"Chris?"  
  
"Angle." I muttered.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Chris, if you want to talk.."  
  
"Look." I said angrily, but he raised his hands.  
  
"Don't snap at me, man. I'm just saying."  
  
"Don't say then. Just shut up. If I need your help, I'll ask."  
  
"Yeah right." He mumbled. I heard him, but I didn't feel like getting into another fight. I didn't understand my own self sometimes. Why exactly had I gotten into that fight with Triple H? I couldn't even remember how it started.  
  
"So, you seeing David?" Kurt asked. He just wouldn't shut up.  
  
"Yeah I am. Got a problem with that?" I shot back. He shook his head.  
  
"No.. just asking." He said, then stood up and left the room. I was left alone. Just what I wanted, right? Then why did I feel so empty inside?  
  
It's her fault. She did this to me. She changed me. I was lost, all I had was myself, and my book. I looked down at the same page I had been on. I couldn't move on. Not in the book, or in my life.  
  
She deserved him. Stephanie deserved Hunter. They were a perfect match. Steph had me and she didn't appreciate that, so she threw what we had away. She treated me like the gum on the bottom of a shoe. Now she wanted to talk? Forget that.. I sighed and leaned back against the cool lockers, closing my eyes. I couldn't believe it. After everything she put me through, all the pain she caused me, the torture, the attitude, the isolation.. I still loved her.  
  
I was such a fool. 


	6. Long Night

~ July, 2000 ~  
  
The pain that welcomed me was excruciating. I opened my eyes slowly, taking in what happened. I felt the bandages on my head, and on my ribs. Sledgehammer shots, courtesy of Triple H. I took a deep and shaky breath. I had walked into a damn set-up.  
  
"Good. About time you woke up. I was beginning to think that I had killed you or something. God forbid, right? Killing you on free TV wouldn't be fun at all. Pay-per-view material there."  
  
"Bastard." I whispered, squinting slightly at Hunter. He laughed and stood up from his chair.  
  
"What did you say? Did you just call me a bastard? How rude of you, Chris." He said. He sounded amused. I wanted to take one swing at him, wanted to feel that sting on my knuckles. But I could barely move. My vision began to clear, and I saw that we weren't alone. Stephanie was in the room.  
  
Part of me wasn't surprised. Wherever he went, she wasn't far behind. I couldn't help but wonder if Stephanie had tagged along out of concern for me. I knew I shouldn't get my hopes high, but I wasn't in the right frame of mind either.  
  
"See what happens when you mess with me, Jericho? You see what I'm capable of when you insult my wife..?" On and on. His voice came and went, with me hearing about half of what he was saying, and about half of that registering at all.  
  
".. if you ever put your hands on my wife again .."  
  
Oh, if only he knew.  
  
".. I'll destroy you. Why? Because I'm Triple H .."  
  
Stephanie came up beside him and embraced him in a tight hug, right in front of me. The cobwebs, as J.R. would say, left my head and I frowned at her. She just smirked at me. She knew what I was thinking.  
  
"Let's leave, Hunter. I don't think we're appreciated here." Not a hint of concern in her voice. Her husband could have damn near killed me, yet she could've cared less. She said nothing while he gloated, while he rubbed it in. There was no sympathy in her steely eyes, which hurt more than the physical pain I was in.  
  
"I think you're right, baby." Hunter walked to the door, but Stephanie stayed where she was. "Are you coming?"  
  
"In a few minutes. I'll be right out, don't worry." She blew him a kiss seductively, while I started feeling sick to my stomach. He smiled and left. The stupid asshole.. I would get at him, eventually.  
  
That left me alone with Stephanie.  
  
"Filthy.. dirty.. disgusting.. you have a way with words, huh? You like insulting me, Chris?" She asked, as she walked up to my bedside. "Do you forget that I have a husband now to defend me? You think you can walk all over me, don't you? Well, you can't. And this is what happens when you try."  
  
She ran her hands over the bandages on my stomach. I winced and she laughed.  
  
"See? It hurts, right? I'm telling you, Chris. You need to watch what you say." She leaned close to me and smirked. "My husband doesn't like your nonsense."  
  
I turned away from her. I didn't want to hear it anymore. I couldn't believe her. If the roles were reversed, I would never do the things she had done to me. I'd rather have Hunter beat the hell out of me all over again than listen to this.  
  
"But at the same time." She said, pulling away from me. She sighed heavily.. dramatically. "I know why you do it. I know why you insult me on national television, in front of the whole world." She added, in a bitter tone. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath. I felt as if she had my heart in the palm of her hand and was breaking it into a thousand pieces. Then again, that was what she was doing.  
  
"Well?" She asked, after a while. "Aren't you going to ask why?"  
  
I stayed quiet. I didn't want to risk the chance of showing her my feelings. I was already physically weak and vulnerable. I didn't want her to know that she was breaking me apart on the inside. I would never give her that satisfaction.  
  
"Alright, if you want to act like a stubborn little boy, I'll tell you." She continued. "You do the things you do because deep inside your little heart.." She patted me on the chest. I bit my lip so hard, I could taste my own blood. ".. you still love me. I am SO flattered, Christopher. Truly. I am. But you must grow up and realize that.." She paused, but only for dramatic effect. "To put it bluntly, it's over, Chris. I will never go back to you, I don't want a damn thing to do with you.."  
  
Why was it so easy for me to block out Hunter, but so hard to do the same for her? What did I do to deserve this torture?  
  
".. because I never loved you anyways. Now that that's cleared up.." She stood up, while I pretended her words had no effect on me. It was hands down, the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. "I must go to my husband, who is waiting for me. Goodbye, Chris. Hope your ribs heal.. and for heaven's sake," She said, sarcastically, "Please watch your mouth. Wouldn't want my dearest Chris to end up in hospitals every week." She bent down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Byeeee.." She said, almost taunting me. Then she left.  
  
I kept my eyes closed as her words rang in my head. Like a broken record, repeating, over and over.  
  
"I never loved you anyways.."  
  
'Bullshit!' My mind screamed out. 'What we had was real!'  
  
"You like insulting me, Chris..?"  
  
I let out the breath I was holding. I couldn't do it anymore. I had been running from a truth that was blinding me from the first moment I joined her father's company. That night, Stephanie rammed that truth down my throat and forced me to accept it. And so I did.. I accepted it on that night. I knew then that it was really over.  
  
~ - ~  
  
The ringing of my phone woke me up, very suddenly. I sat straight up, looking around. It was just a dream. I groaned and fell back on my bed, taking a deep breath. I always had dreams where I remembered things like that. Never failed..  
  
"If you're hearing this, I'm not here. You're obviously important enough to have my number, so maybe you're important enough to have me call you back. Key word is maybe. Leave a message." My head was pounding from drinking beer earlier. I rolled over onto my side, away from the phone.  
  
"Hey Chris.. it's Stephanie."  
  
I opened my eyes, and for the first time, realized that I had tears staining my face. I had been crying in my sleep. I brushed them away impatiently.  
  
"Just calling to say hi.. I really want to talk to you. Please, just give me a chance to talk to you. If you don't want to.. I understand. My cell phone's on. Call me, if you get the chance.. bye, Chris."  
  
I wasn't going to call her. Was she out of her mind? I rolled over onto my back and gazed up at the ceiling. I laughed out loud in the empty room, ignoring the hurt that Stephanie's voice always brought to my chest. The alcohol that I drank didn't let me hear how bitter my laugh sounded. Chris Jericho, bad-ass, huh? Oh yeah. Definitely.  
  
"Ask Triple H how bad-ass I am." I said out loud, before laughing again. I felt my head start to spin from my drinking. Slowly, I fell asleep again. It was restless, and it wasn't that long. I was aware of the phone ringing again, a number of times, but I didn't bother answering. Finally, when I couldn't take the noise anymore, I picked up the phone.  
  
"What is it?" I said, groggily. I rubbed at my eyes, trying to get rid of the sleep.  
  
"Oh, nothing. Just some people that actually worry about what the hell's happening with you. Not like you care." The voice was laced with sarcasm.  
  
"It's late, Angle. What do you want?"  
  
"Stephanie called me -"  
  
I hung up. I didn't want to hear it. As soon as I hung up, the phone rang again. I didn't answer. The machine picked up, and soon, Kurt's voice came over the line.  
  
"Jericho! You jerk! Pick up the freaking phone! What the hell's the matter with you?! I know you're there, Chris! ANSWER THE PHONE!!" He shouted, startling me. I frowned and snatched up the phone.  
  
"Alright, alright! I'm here! Asshole!"  
  
"Thank you." He said, happily. "Now then, as I was saying before you rudely hung up on me.. Stephanie called."  
  
I went to slam the phone down when I heard him screaming on the other end. "DON'T HANG UP THE FREAKING PHONE JERICHO!!" I scowled and raised the phone back up to my ear.  
  
"Fine. I won't. But what does that have to do with me?"  
  
"Well maybe if you let me EXPLAIN, you'd KNOW, now wouldn't you?" I stayed quiet. For some reason, I just felt tired. "She wants to talk to you. She said she called like four times and you didn't pick up. She was starting to worry about you."  
  
"Now she's worried, huh? Tell her to fuck off, Angle."  
  
"Chris, man, what's wrong with you? Why don't you want to talk to her? Can't you see that she could help you?"  
  
"Help me? Don't make me laugh. All she's ever done is hurt me, Angle. I don't need to deal with her shit anymore."  
  
"Look Jericho. I don't know about your past with Stephanie. I probably never will. But it'll NEVER get better if you just ignore her. She's not going away, Chris. You need to talk to her so you can be okay again."  
  
"I AM OKAY, JACKASS!"  
  
"Listen to yourself."  
  
"Shut the hell up." I mumbled, my head still pounding.  
  
"Just talk to her, alright? No one's expecting much. She just wants to talk."  
  
"Too bad, because I don't."  
  
Kurt sighed on the other end. "Alright.. fine."  
  
"Yeah, fine." I answered.  
  
"Are you drunk?" He asked, his tone changing.  
  
"No. I'm tired." I said. It wasn't a lie either. I wasn't drunk.  
  
"Okay.. if you don't want to talk to Stephanie, then me and you could talk."  
  
"I don't want to talk to -"  
  
"You know what, Chris? Right now, I don't really care what you want to do, alright? I know that you've been drinking because it's obvious by hearing your voice. Tomorrow, we'll talk."  
  
"Look, Angle -"  
  
"I said, tomorrow, we'll talk." He said, firmly. I felt tired, and not in the mood to argue anymore, so I just stayed quiet. "You going by David's tomorrow?"  
  
"I was thinking about it." I said, rubbing my forehead.  
  
"You're going, and I'll give you a ride. We can talk there. Okay?"  
  
"No, actually, it's not okay, because -"  
  
"Okay. See you tomorrow." With that, he hung up on me. I threw the phone away from me, and heard it crash on the floor. Damn it. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Why couldn't ANYONE just leave me alone? I didn't realize then that Kurt was just trying to help me. All I knew was that I didn't want to talk to him. And I sure as hell didn't want to talk to Stephanie McMahon. It took a while after that night at the hospital, but it finally sunk in. Things were never the same, and they could never be the same again.  
  
But why waste my time thinking about her? I was a champion. I was the king of the world. I was a strong person that was not about to let some woman ruin my life. I wasn't going to let her break me again. I was in control, dammit. Tomorrow was going to be a smooth day, and Stephanie was not going to be a part of it.  
  
Or so I thought. 


	7. The Day Begins

I woke up when I heard the knocking. Maybe if I stayed quiet, they'd go away. It was probably some unimportant fan coming to annoy me. The knocking grew louder as I covered my head with my pillow. I hadn't been able to sleep much.  
  
"Chris!!" More knocking.  
  
"GO AWAY!" I shouted. I didn't want to get up. I just wanted to stay in bed. The person kept knocking, over and over, until the sound was about to drive me mad. I groaned and slowly got up out of my bed. Obviously, they wouldn't stop until I got up. I trudged over to the door and opened it.  
  
"Bout time. My knuckles were starting to get irritated." I squinted at the person. It sounded like Angle. "Chris? You okay?" Yeah, that was him all right.  
  
"What time is it?" I rubbed at my eyes, and then looked back at him. This time, I saw him clearly. He looked at his watch.  
  
"9 AM." He answered.  
  
"You assclown, can't you let me sleep in? Damn." I turned away and walked back over to the bedroom. I fell on my bed and sighed. I had woken up with one of the worst headaches known to mankind.  
  
"You never sleep in." Angle said, following me into the room. I ignored him. "Chris?"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Damn. You're a grouch in the mornings, huh?"  
  
"You're an idiot." I mumbled, but he heard me.  
  
"Actually, you're the idiot. I'm a gold medalist." He said smugly. It took a few seconds for me to register what he said.  
  
"Did you just call me an idiot?" I said, pushing myself up to my elbows as I glared at him.  
  
"Yeah, I did. What's the matter, Chris? The truth has never hurt you before."  
  
"You know what?" I began, not even thinking about what I was saying. I got up and walked over to him.  
  
"How about you put on some pants, and then we'll talk?" He suggested. I looked down at myself. I was in my boxers.  
  
"I have a better idea." I said, looking back up at him. He tilted his head and crossed his arms as he watched me. "How about, you stay the hell out of my business?"  
  
He simply shook his head. "Chris, you need to take a step back and look at yourself. You're arrogant and cocky as hell for the fans, but when the cameras stop rolling, you are one of the bitterest people I know. It's not healthy, man."  
  
"Do you think I care?"  
  
"Yeah." He said, after a while. "Yeah, I think you do care."  
  
"Well, you're wrong. I don't care." I turned away from him and picked up a pair of jeans on the floor.  
  
"What's wrong with you, Chris?" He asked. I stayed quiet as I slipped the jeans on, and picked up a Y2J t-shirt. "You're not the same guy I used to know. It has to do with Stephanie, doesn't it?"  
  
"You could say that." I answered. He sighed loudly as I slipped on the t- shirt and turned back to him. "I'm not going to see your buddy David today." I added.  
  
"Why?" He asked, surprised.  
  
"Because I don't need to see a damn psychiatrist, that's why." I replied, somewhat fiercely. He just shook his head.  
  
"This is what I'm talking about, Chris."  
  
I went to answer, but bit my lip instead. I had almost lost my cool there. I just shrugged and grabbed my shoes off the floor, and began to put them on. He was edging me on and on, and he was very close to pissing me off.  
  
"You're too bitter, you're holding on too tight."  
  
"Oh, so now I'm bitter. Whatever, Angle." I muttered, tying the laces on one of my shoes.  
  
"Talk to Steph, Chris. She cares about you more than you think."  
  
"Talk to Steph, Chris." I mimicked him. He frowned when I did, but I didn't care. "Call Steph, Chris. Talk to David, Chris." I looked up at him and shook my head in disgust as I stood up. He straightened when I did.  
  
"I'm just trying to --"  
  
"Trying to what, Angle?" I said, cutting him off. "Trying to help me? You know how you can help me?!" I shouted, at my wits' end. His eyes flashed as I raised my voice. "You can help me by staying out of my god damn business! You can help me by not coming here to annoy the living HELL out of me! You can help me, Angle.." I said, as I reached out and grabbed him by the collar of his jacket. His eyes widened in surprise. I was so worked up that I was shaking.  
  
"You can help me all right.. by staying the hell away from me. You annoy me, you bother me, when all I want is to be left ALONE!"  
  
"You want to be left alone, huh?" He whispered. We were so close now, I heard it clear as day. He frowned and looked down at my hands gripping him by his jacket. "If you don't let go of me right now, I'll make you regret it, Jericho."  
  
"Go ahead and try. Your threats don't mean shit anyways, because you can never back them up." I spat out. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. I think I got caught up in the heat of the moment. I just answered like I would to any threat, because that's what he did. He threatened me.  
  
He hit me so fast and so hard that I didn't even realize what was happening. One second I was in Kurt's face, and the next, I was on the floor. I couldn't even tell where he hit me, because my whole face felt numb.  
  
"Like I said, Jericho.. you're an idiot." He said, standing above me. He shook off his fist. "I'm just trying to help you because I consider you to be my friend. But you're so freakin' hard-headed, that you can't even see or appreciate that."  
  
His hit didn't do me any good with the headache I was already feeling. I started to roll over to stand up, when he grabbed me by my shirt and literally pulled me up to my feet.  
  
"Stand up." He said, shaking me a little. He let me go and I sat down on the edge of my bed. I could feel throbbing on my face. I was going to have a nice bruise. I looked up at him and my first instinct was to hit him back, but I was tired. In my state of mind, he'd kick my ass easily. He already proved he could. I glared at him as I rubbed the side of my face.  
  
"Your problem, Chris Jericho, is you don't like to face the big issues. You had your problems with Stephanie, sure."  
  
"Look Angle.." I started, sighing.  
  
"Shut up, Jericho, I'm not finished!" He shouted. I blinked and shut up. It had been a while since he had talked to me like that.  
  
"But you don't want to talk to her about it. You'd rather sit here and make your life miserable because of it. And I try to help you... but noooo. Mr. Bad Ass Chris Jericho can't accept help. It's beneath him. So what do you do?"  
  
"Beat Hunter's ass?" I offered. He frowned at me. "Sorry." I mumbled.  
  
"You insult, you ignore, and you take people for granted. You do it to everyone. Even me!" He shook his head.  
  
"I'm sorry." I said numbly. "Just.."  
  
"Sorry isn't good enough."  
  
"What the hell, man? I said I'm sorry. What do you want me to do?" I was exasperated. Since when was sorry not good enough? Wait a second.. that's what I had said to Stephanie. Okay then, he was right. It wasn't good enough.  
  
"What do I want you to do? Talk to Stephanie." He shrugged, as if it were no big deal. I stared at him and shook my head. "That's what I want you to do."  
  
"I'll THINK about it, okay?" I said, sighing. He shook his head.  
  
"Nope. You're not thinking about anything. I already told her to come over later."  
  
"You WHAT?!" I felt my jaw drop. I stood up and started pacing the room. "How can you do that? How can you ask her of all people to come by later? What the hell is the matter with you?"  
  
"You just listen to her while she does the talking. Then you won't have to do it again.. ever."  
  
I ran my hands through my hair. This was too much, too soon. I wasn't READY to sit down and talk to her. I hadn't done so in the longest time.. I couldn't even REMEMBER the last time I talked to her!  
  
"Chris.. relax, buddy."  
  
"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RELAX?!" I shouted, as I paced faster. I couldn't talk to her anymore. She'd want to talk about the past, and damn it, that was what I was trying to get away from! What the hell was he thinking? I suddenly came up with a solution, and snapped my fingers. "I got it!" I cried out.  
  
"Uh.. got what?" Kurt asked, looking confused.  
  
"Let's just leave! That way when she gets here, I won't be here!"  
  
"Chris.."  
  
"Come on, help me find my keys." I said, already starting to look around the area.  
  
"CHRIS!" He yelled out, startling me.  
  
"WHAT?" I yelled back. I grabbed my keys and turned to look at him. He gave me a look. "Oh.. I get it." I said after a while. "You can stay here so there will be SOMEONE here for her to talk to! You're the best, Angle." I practically ran past him but he reached out and grabbed me before I could leave.  
  
"Oh no, you're staying right here. You're not going anywhere."  
  
"Kurt.. please man." I said, practically pleading with him. "Don't do this to me. You said we're friends, and damn it, friends don't do this to other friends!"  
  
He crossed his arms.  
  
"I said, you're not going anywhere. Stop running from her, Chris."  
  
"You don't understand.." I sighed and sat back down on my bed. He wasn't going to let me leave. I almost felt betrayed by what he was doing. "You just don't understand."  
  
"I would, if you'd let me."  
  
"I can't talk to her, Kurt. The things she did to me.. the things she said to me.. I can't deal with it. I can't forget it. I NEED to forget it so I can move on to bigger and better things.. but I can't.." I shook my head and looked away, feeling so frustrated with the whole situation, that I almost felt like crying. But I would be damned to break down in front of Kurt Angle, friend or no friend.  
  
"She did this to you, Chris. She's the only one who can help you." I shrugged, and rubbed the side of my face. "Sorry about hitting you. You're just such a jerk sometimes that it's very hard to resist."  
  
"Gee.. thanks." I said, sarcastically.  
  
"Want a hug?"  
  
"No." I answered, giving him a look of disgust.  
  
"How bout some milk?"  
  
"NO!" I shouted, and he laughed.  
  
"Fine, fine. So you'll listen to her, right?" He said seriously.  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Good, good. I'll get going then.. you stay here, buster, you hear me?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Don't get your Olympic diapers in a wad. I'll stay here." I said, before groaning very loudly, my way of complaining.  
  
"Okay then. See you around. Good luck." He said, already on his way out, and ignoring my voice of complaint.  
  
"Yeah, bye." I said, and waited until I heard the door click shut behind him. The first thing I thought of was that I could still leave. But what would be the point? Stephanie would tell him that I wasn't there, and then Angle would probably tie me down to try again. I didn't put it past him.  
  
I'd stay. I knew I was crazy for doing this, but maybe Kurt was right. Maybe I could go back to the way I used to be. Then again, maybe I couldn't. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. I reached back and opened a drawer, pulling out some beer. I popped open the top off one, and took a long swig. The alcohol was refreshing to my senses. I was in for a long night, after all. 


	8. Explanations & A New Problem

I stayed and waited for her for hours, before finally giving up. She wasn't coming. This was some sick joke. I threw out my empty beer bottle, grabbed my keys and left my hotel room. I felt light-headed. I should've known that she would leave me hanging. I cracked my knuckles in the elevator, feeling restless. I felt like hitting someone.  
  
The elevator stopped and I stepped out, keeping my gaze low on the ground, and my hands in my pockets. Luckily for me, no one gave me a second look. I couldn't believe she had stood me up, again. That woman had some nerve.. right when I was actually ready to talk to her too. No matter, tonight I'd just go out for some drinks. I stepped out into the cool night and took a deep breath. What a wasted day.  
  
I kicked a rock as I walked over to my car. Someone was bound to recognize me if I just stood around. Fans.. who needed them? I kicked another rock and in doing so, didn't see the person in front of me. We bumped into each other, and I was brought out of my daze. I took a step back and looked up angrily.  
  
"Watch where you're going!" We both shouted at each other at the same time. My breath caught in my throat when I saw that it was none other than Stephanie who I had bumped into. Just my luck.. I shook it off and forced myself to breathe.  
  
"Chris! I was just going upstairs to go see you.." She said, as she adjusted her sunglasses.  
  
"Yeah, well I was just leaving, so if you'll excuse me.." I don't even know how I managed to get the words out, but I did. I stepped to the side and went to walk around her, when she stepped in front of me.  
  
"We need to talk." She stated.  
  
"I just spent practically the entire day waiting for you. It's too late, and I'm tired. And what's up with the shades? It's dark out." I said, shaking my head. I tried to go around her again, and again, she stopped me. I sighed heavily and looked up into the night sky. I couldn't look her in the eye.  
  
"Chris, please. I got caught up with Hunter, I'm sorry. Please let me talk to you."  
  
"Stephanie! I don't want to talk to you!" I said, my voice rising as I began to feel frustrated. "Leave me alone!"  
  
"You know what? You either sit down and talk to me, or I will have you fired! We NEED to talk!"  
  
"My ass you'll have me fired. You know good and damn well that you wouldn't do it. Now get out of my way." I said, in my best effort to stay calm. I went to try to step around her when she reached out and placed her hands on my chest.  
  
"Please, Chris, just let me talk to you." She said, pleading with me. I looked down at her hands, ignoring the chills she gave me with her touch. I scowled and bit my lip, but didn't move her hands. Maybe I was enjoying the moment, I don't know.  
  
"Please?"  
  
".. fine." I said, reluctantly giving in. Oh, if only she knew the power she had over me. She truly had no idea. I slowly took a step back, away from her. "Where do you want to talk?" I said, looking down at the ground, as if there were some hidden answers there.  
  
"Here." She answered. Was she insane?  
  
"What if someone -"  
  
"I don't care, Chris." She cut me off. "Let someone see us, I don't care. I just want to talk to you."  
  
"Yeah? Well, I care. So we're not talking out here to air our dirty laundry for any assclown to see. If you don't like it, then leave." I spat out, bitterly, mentally trying to keep my temper in check. I walked around her and opened the driver-side door to my car, then got in. She walked around to the passenger side and went to open the door, but it was locked.  
  
I sat and waited for her, knowing full-well that the door was locked.  
  
"Open the door, Chris!" I heard her yell through the glass. I pretended I didn't hear her. I could sense her annoyance, so I hit the button to my left and unlocked the door. She got in and sat down next to me.  
  
"Thanks." She said, sarcastically. I just shrugged and looked out of my window, studying the rear-view mirror of the car parked next to mine. Neither of us spoke. Minutes passed, and I have could cut the tension in the car with a knife.  
  
"Well gorgeous, I really love sitting in silence with you, but I don't have all night." I said snidely.  
  
"What's your problem, Chris? What the hell is the matter with you?" She suddenly asked. I glanced at her quickly, before looking straight ahead of me, shaking my head in disbelief.  
  
"What's MY problem? What's yours? You go and do all this shit to me, and it's my fault? You act like a little.." I stopped and took a deep breath, before looking away. She was truly impossible.  
  
"Like a little what, Chris? Come on, let it out. I know you want to."  
  
"Fine. You're a total bitch to me, every day, all day, all the time. And yet, I'm the one with a problem, right? If that's the case, get the HELL out of my car, and don't ever let me see you again."  
  
"See, this is your problem, Chris -"  
  
"You're my problem, Stephanie. A big one at that."  
  
"You haven't let me talk to you in ages! How the hell do you know what was going on, if you won't let me talk to you?"  
  
"Big whoop." I mumbled, and we both fell silent. "How could you do that to me?" I asked, after a while. "How could you.."  
  
"How could I what?" She asked, surprised. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  
  
"You don't even know? Do you even remember when we dated? Oh, we went out for a while, only to find out that you cheated on me, and that's just the beginning of the list. Do you want me to fucking continue, Stephanie?!" I shouted, and she touched me on my arm. I pulled away. "Don't touch me!"  
  
"Chris.. you don't understand." She said, and I could hear her voice start to crack.  
  
"Oh, I don't understand. You're damn right I don't understand. You lied to me, you cheated on me, and THEN.. you acted like none of it happened! Like I was just.. some play thing to you.. like I didn't matter.." I stopped, before I lost my composure. My chest felt tight.  
  
"That's not true." She said, softly. "You always mattered to me."  
  
"You have a really funny way of showing it, then." I muttered, as I closed my eyes. I still hadn't looked at her. I didn't want to.  
  
"You did. I always cared about you.. those months when we were together were the best I've ever had with anyone. Chris, I loved you. Then, things changed.."  
  
"Damn right things changed." I cut in. "You know what? I'm tired of this conversation. Get out of my car." I ordered.  
  
"Chris, you're not even giving me a chance to explain!"  
  
"EXPLAIN WHAT?!" I cried out, startling her. I turned around to look at her angrily, but my vision wasn't clear. It was blurred. I was so upset and pissed off at the same time, that I had tears in my eyes, but didn't notice. "EXPLAIN HOW YOU LIED?!"  
  
"Chris.. please.."  
  
"EXPLAIN WHY YOU HURT ME LIKE YOU DID? HUH? YOU THINK YOU CAN EXPLAIN THAT TO ME?!" I didn't even hear what she had said, I was so worked up. Here she was, the cause for all of my pain. And for reasons unknown to me, she was still the one that I loved.  
  
"I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU!" She screamed back at me, before she broke down in tears.  
  
"Yeah, cry, Steph. Because you're the one that's been hurt the most during all of this shit." I choked out as I looked out through my window again, to avoid seeing her cry, even if she did have shades on. I lowered my window to let some air in. "Go ahead and cry. You've made me do it enough times."  
  
"Chris.. I'm sorry.."  
  
"Whatever.." I was sitting about as far away from her as I could possibly be. I wanted to open the door and leave, but I couldn't. I just wanted this to be over with, so I'd never have to sit down with her again. I couldn't even look at her for that long..  
  
She beat me to it. She opened the door and left me alone in the car. I looked over and saw her walking away. No, this wasn't how it was going to end. She was not going to get off that easily.  
  
I got out of my car and slammed the door, then walked over behind her. I reached out and grabbed her arm, and spun her around to face me. She cried out in pain when I did.  
  
"Oh no, you're not going to end it with that. You fucking OWE me a goddamn explanation!" I said, getting in her face. How I couldn't see the obvious was beyond me.. I personally think it was the beer I drank earlier. She yanked her arm out of my grip, and turned away from me. I could tell she was still crying.  
  
"Why? You don't want to hear it anyways!" She shouted. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. This woman was driving me absolutely crazy.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry, okay? Sorry if I hurt you." I reached out and touched her shoulder, but she pulled away from my touch. That upset me, but I kept control. "I didn't even grab you that hard!"  
  
"Chris.. it was a mistake. I went out for some drinks, and I ended up with Hunter for one night.. it was a mistake, I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't want to leave you."  
  
"That didn't seem to stop you, since you did anyways." I said, having relatively calmed down.  
  
"He threatened you, Chris. He said he wanted to be with me.. and if I said no, he'd hurt you. Chris, I didn't want you to get hurt." I could hear her crying, and it was tearing me apart.  
  
"Yeah?" I asked, suddenly feeling very heavy. I took a look around the parking lot. No one was nearby. I sighed and reached out to her, but I caught myself in time. I put both of my hands in my pockets, instead. "If that was the case, you could have told me. The bastard doesn't scare me, Stephanie."  
  
"But he scared ME!" She shouted, while she sobbed. "I didn't want you to get hurt.. so I figured that if I called it off, that you'd meet someone else that could make you happy.. I didn't KNOW at the time that you were a professional wrestler!"  
  
"Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, Steph." I responded sullenly. "That's why you were such a bitch to me when I started out with your dad's company, am I right? You were so SURPRISED that you pretended like you never knew me? World of sense there, sweetheart." I added, sarcastically.  
  
"Fine, you want me to tell you, then I will! I knew that you would remember what we had, and Hunter would go after you, because he would sure as hell pick up on it. I never told him who you were, but he always asked. And if you came in all of a sudden," She paused and took a deep breath. "Here you come, and you recognize me, he'd know it was you, Chris! He'd know it! I tried, I went out of my way to be the biggest bitch I could be to you, so you'd start to hate me.."  
  
"So I'd leave you alone." I finished for her. I tried to walk around her, but she wouldn't let me face her. I shifted my weight uncomfortably.  
  
"But that backfired, because you always wanted to run your mouth at me.. until he finally did hurt you."  
  
"And weren't you the concerned one that night at the hospital." I mumbled, feeling the pain from that night creep back up through me. Suddenly, I didn't want to stand so close to her. I took a step back, reminding myself of that night that still haunted my dreams. That was the night she broke my heart.  
  
"What are you talking about? I was with you the entire night, I was worried, and I felt guilty.." I could tell by her voice that she was close to me.  
  
"Bullshit. Ms 'I never loved you anyways', right? That's what you said." I wished I had a beer.  
  
"Chris, what are you talking about?" She said, surprised. "I was with you that night! I was worried, but I couldn't show that with Hunter there when he was hurting you! He would have KILLED you! So I went afterwards to see you, by myself. I got away from him, and stayed with you. I was worried SICK!"  
  
"Funny, that's not how I remember it." I mumbled.  
  
"YOU HAD A CONCUSSION! How the hell could you remember? You were totally out of it!"  
  
I stayed quiet, not wanting to believe what she was telling me. All she's ever done is lie to me.. why would this be any different? I did have a concussion though. Maybe it wasn't a lie after all.  
  
"Great, so if that's the case, I've been living a lie, is that what you're telling me?" I lowered my gaze to the ground and kicked a rock impatiently.  
  
"I was just scared, Chris. I tried to alienate you, tried to get you to hate me, but I never realized how much I was hurting you. And when I did realize it, it was too late.. you wanted nothing to do with me. You never let me explain, and .. I'm sorry, Chris. It was stupid of me.. I was so worried about you getting hurt physically, that it never.. occurred to me that I was hurting you emotionally." I smirked, instinctively. I suddenly found the entire situation humorous. Maybe I was really going crazy. I laughed out loud, ignoring the pain I was feeling inside.  
  
"Well, aren't you a saint? What do you want now? A cookie? It's over and done with, Stephanie. Just forget about it, forget about us. Forget about me." I left her with that, as I walked back to my car. I went to open the door, when I felt her hands on my shoulders from behind.  
  
"Wait, Chris, please don't leave. I can't forget about you. I am so sorry for hurting you, I didn't realize how bad it was. I was so scared, I made a really stupid mistake. Chris.. I still love you. I always have."  
  
"God you're such a liar." I took out my keys and shuffled through them, looking for the one to my car. My hands were trembling. "The least you could do is be honest with me. You could do me the honor and at least give me that.."  
  
"I'm not lying." She said softly, and I felt her hands on my back. I kept my eyes on my keys.  
  
"It's getting late. Hunter might be worried." I said, my voice low and unsteady. I felt numb, and could feel a headache coming on. I finally found the key I was looking for, only to drop my keys. I frowned, but she turned me around before I could bend down to pick them up. I opened my mouth to protest, when she kissed me.  
  
It was extremely awkward at first, but she tasted so sweet.. I thought I would never taste her kiss again. I kept telling myself to end it as soon as I could, but I couldn't. For once, I didn't hurt anymore. I reached up with my hands while I kissed her and accidentally tilted her shades. She immediately pulled away from me. It took a few seconds to register that she was no longer in my embrace, and I looked at her, confused.  
  
"What was that, Stephanie?" I asked, bewildered as she turned away from me. I nodded slowly, understanding. "So you really are full of bullshit. You don't care about me, all you wanted was one last kiss. I was right. I'm some play thing to you." I sounded angry. I couldn't believe I let her do this to me again. She turned back to face me for the first time that night, and had I been completely sober, I would've reacted immediately.  
  
Instead.. I just stood there, staring blankly at her. I finally snapped out of it, and asked a question that was very stupid, because it was extremely obvious. However, I felt the need to ask anyways.  
  
"What the hell happened to your face?" 


	9. Another Kind of Therapy

"What are you talking about?" She asked, sounding shocked.  
  
"You've got this huge bruise on your face." I said, tilting my head to the side. I watched her curiously, not knowing that I actually hadn't gotten a good look at it. "What, walk into a door or something?"  
  
"Yeah, I did." She laughed nervously as she put her sunglasses back on. "People don't see what they're doing!" She smiled at me, but I frowned.  
  
"Let me see." I took a step towards her and she stepped back. "Whoa, what's wrong? I don't bite. I just want to see." I stepped to her as she stood as still as a statue. I reached up and gently cupped her chin in my hand while I examined her face.  
  
"It's nothing, Chris." She said, reassuringly.  
  
"Shh, let me see." I reached to her glasses with both hands, but she flinched before I even touched her. "Hey, relax, I'm not going to do anything. It's okay, I'm just looking." I removed her shades and tilted her head back a little to see better in the light.  
  
"It's nothing.."  
  
"Nothing?" I cried out, feeling my jaw drop. "You got socked pretty good, and you say it's nothing?"  
  
"I told you, I ran into a door." She pulled away from me. I glared at her, knowing full well she was lying to me. She sighed and tossed her hair back, and my eyes went back to that bruise. That was NOT from some door.  
  
"A door, huh?" I said, sarcastically. "That might have worked with your parents while you were in high school, but it doesn't work with me."  
  
"Fine, fine." She put her hands up. "My dog jumped up at me."  
  
"Oh.." I said, nodding. Then something dawned on me. "Hey, wait a minute.."  
  
"Well, would you look at the time! I have a show to help run tomorrow.. listen, Chris, it's been really nice talking to you. Call me, sometime, okay?" She came up to me and kissed me on the cheek. I grabbed her and pulled her to me when she did.  
  
"You hate dogs." I said bluntly.  
  
"Stop Chris, that hurts!" She yelled painfully. I immediately let her go, even though I hadn't been gripping her so hard.  
  
"Who hit you?" I demanded. I began running through the list of people that didn't like Stephanie. Trish, perhaps? The new girl, Gail Kim?  
  
"Fine, Chris.." She said, rubbing her arms. "Sable jumped me before I came over here, and my dad watched while she kicked my ass! Are you happy now?"  
  
"Oh. Sorry." I said, putting my hands in my pockets. "I didn't mean to hurt you, if I did."  
  
"No big deal. Geez, Chris.." I frowned as I looked at the bruise on her face again.  
  
"That doesn't look like a slap. You're going to have a black eye." I stated, knowingly. I knew these things.  
  
"She hit me with a closed fist." Stephanie stated impatiently.  
  
"Ah.. I see." I nodded. "So Sable hit you on your way over, eh?"  
  
"Yes! What difference does it make?" Now she sounded exasperated. 'You're pushing it, Chris.' I thought to myself.  
  
"Sorry, relax, I was just asking a question. So why were you trying to hide it from me?" I asked, as she crossed her arms and looked off to the side.  
  
"I didn't want this 21 questions game to start."  
  
"Hey, hang on a second. You said that you were caught up with Hunter before you came over, and that's why you were late." Her eyes grew wide, before she laughed it off.  
  
"Yeah, I was. Then on my way OVER.. I got caught up with Sable and my dad.. and we started arguing.. and.. she hit me for no good reason! The stupid bitch." She snarled. I just watched her. I could read this woman like a book. I wasn't really buying it. It was a pretty ugly bruise. But who was I to defend her now?  
  
"Well.." I said, kicking at the ground with the toe of my shoe. "I guess you should get going."  
  
"Yeah, I guess." She responded, and I thought I heard a hint of disappointment in her voice.  
  
"Well, come here. Give me a hug." I said, opening my arms warmly. She looked at me in doubt, but I gave her a charming smile. She slowly stepped up to me, and wrapped her arms around me. I lowered my arms to hers, and pulled her at arms length from me.  
  
"Hey! What are you doing?" She cried.  
  
"Taking a closer look." I answered, nonchalantly. I grabbed one of her arms and she winced.  
  
"Stop, Chris!"  
  
"Steph, do me a favor, and just shut the hell up." I mumbled. She did as I asked, much to my surprise. I slowly lifted up the sleeve of her sweater. Not surprisingly, her arm was badly bruised.  
  
"... I can explain that."  
  
"I thought I told you to shut up." I answered as I lifted up the sleeve of her other arm, as gentle as I could. The bruises were dark purple. Why the hell hadn't I realized this before?  
  
"Chris.." I looked up at her, and we made eye contact. Her eyes pleaded with mine. In that instant, I knew. I took a step back, away from her, disgust creeping through me.  
  
"Did Hunter hit you?" I half-asked, half-demanded. "He did, didn't he?"  
  
"Chris, right now's not really a good time.."  
  
"I asked you a question, and you're going to answer me." I interrupted her. "Did he hit you?"  
  
".. NO! How dare you insinuate that kind of thing about my boyfriend! You have some NERVE, Chris Jericho!" She shrieked. I narrowed my eyes as I just stared at her. She sighed and shook her head. ".. He didn't mean to." She said, giving in.  
  
He hit her.  
  
"Chris, listen to me.."  
  
He actually had the fucking audacity to put his hands on her.  
  
"He was just mad!"  
  
He didn't even hit her.. he punched her. He hit her like he'd hit me.  
  
"It's not a big deal.."  
  
Who the hell did he think he was? I could hate Stephanie with all my soul, but I'd never hit her like that.  
  
"Chris?"  
  
I'd kill him. No one hit Stephanie like that. Not over my dead body.  
  
"CHRIS!" She shouted, snapping me out of it. She shook me by my shirt. "Please, please don't tell anyone." She pleaded, her eyes filling with tears. "Honest, it was the first time, please, Chris.."  
  
I pulled her to me and hugged her, while she cried into my shirt. But I was so pissed off, I could barely think straight. It was all his fault. I knew he was a bastard, but I didn't know he'd sink to this level.  
  
"Shhh.. it's okay." I managed to say, comforting her. "He's never going to touch you again. I promise."  
  
"It was only once.." She said against my chest as she pulled herself together.  
  
"That's one time too many."  
  
"What are you going to do?" She asked, looking up at me. "Chris?"  
  
"Oh.. nothing much. Just have a little man-to-man talk with him."  
  
"Yeah, you can do that tomorrow, at the show."  
  
"Tomorrow?" I asked, forcing a laugh. She thought I meant a literal talk with him. I looked at her, and could already feel my blood boiling from looking at that bruise, that was caused by his fist.  
  
"Uh.. day after tomorrow?"  
  
"No. I think we should have a little talk tonight." I stated flatly. She looked at me with worry, but I was holding my temper in check. I was waiting until I laid eyes on him. Oh, we'd have a "talk", all right..  
  
"What time, tonight?"  
  
"Right now. Get in the car. This is getting taken care of, tonight."  
  
~ - ~  
  
"What room is he in again?"  
  
"16 J." She looked at me and touched my arm gently. "Please, Chris, just, don't.."  
  
"Don't what?" I asked, as I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel impatiently.  
  
"Don't go crazy on him." I nodded, not looking at her. I had bought her explanation, but the sickening feelings she had always produced inside of me all this time were coming back. I couldn't recover in one night. First thing was first though, and that was to take care of Hunter.  
  
"Okay. Stay here." I got out and closed the door. Burying my hands in my pockets, I looked up at the hotel Hunter was staying at. Nice and flashy, just like The Game liked it. It didn't surprise me.  
  
I walked inside, whistling. Someone suddenly reached out and grabbed my arm. I looked over quickly, and nodded.  
  
"Hey Christian." I greeted.  
  
"Yo, C-Man, what's up? Dude, check this place out. It's a hotel for KINGS!" Christian said, smirking as he draped an arm over my shoulders. I smirked myself and nodded. There was garbage in the building, which Chris Jericho was going to take care of, real quick. "My peeps love me here! It's like I'm really famous!" He continued. It was hard for me to be mad at Christian. He and Kurt were just about my only friends.  
  
"You are." I agreed, in a calm voice. He looked at me curiously. "Chris, what's up?"  
  
"Oh, nothing much. Hey, have you seen Triple H around lately?" I asked casually.  
  
"Yeah dude, he's upstairs in his room."  
  
"Great. I need to talk to him."  
  
"Okay, I gotta go too, I got this KILLER massage girl waiting for me.." He grinned suggestively, letting me go and patting my shoulder. "See you tomorrow, Chris!"  
  
"Yeah. See ya." We high-fived, like we usually did. I watched him leave, before walking off.  
  
My smirk left my face as I walked over to the elevator. I kept my gaze low as I got in and rode up to his floor. The bell rang softly and I stepped out. I walked over until I was in front of his door, before raising my fist and knocking. It was show time.  
  
Nothing happened, so I knocked again. I pulled out a piece of gum from my pocket, and popped it into my mouth, chewing for a few moments. Then I pulled it out of my mouth, and stuck it over the peek-hole. I wiped my lips and knocked again.  
  
"Who is it?" I heard his gruff voice ask. He had probably been sleeping.  
  
"Room service." I answered, in an accent.  
  
"I didn't order anything. Go away."  
  
It wasn't going to be that easily. I knocked again.  
  
"I SAID GO AWAY, GET LOST, YOU MORON!"  
  
I shook my head and knocked again.  
  
"Room service, sir." I repeated.  
  
"You idiot," I heard him mumble, before hearing chains before moved around on the door. A second later, he opened the door, wearing a white robe. He looked at me and groaned loudly.  
  
"Damn it, Jericho -"  
  
That's as far as he got before I kicked the door back in his face. He fell back in pain and held his face as I stepped inside, slamming the door behind me. I turned and locked it. No one was going to interrupt me. I had waited way too long for this.  
  
"Hey, Hunter, nice to see you. How you doing?" I asked, before kicking him hard in the ribs.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" He gasped, before I reached down and grasped him by the robe, yanking him up.  
  
"Sending regards, from Stephanie McMahon." I hit him as hard as I could, knocking him down. He rolled onto his stomach and starting crawling away.  
  
"What's the matter, Hunter? Can't fight back? Is it because I'm not a woman?" I kicked him again, before shoving him onto his back. I went to mount him when he hit me hard in the face. I resorted to a cheap shot and drove my knee down, low-blowing him. I could taste blood on my lip, but I couldn't feel it.  
  
That's when I lost it. All I could see was Stephanie crying. All I could feel was the hurt that I had gone through for the past few years. And for what? Because of this dumbass? He was the reason I was miserable? Not on this night.  
  
I hit him so many times, I was surprised he was still conscious. I could feel blood on my knuckles, but I didn't know if it was his, or mine. Finally, when I could barely breathe anymore, I got off of him. I stood up on shaky feet, and had to hold onto the dresser to steady myself. I looked over at him, realizing for the first time that I had really done a number on him. He was a bloody mess.  
  
He was starting to get up. I had to hand it to him. He could take an ass kicking. I went over and shoved him back down with my foot. Vince was going to have my ass for this, but I didn't care.  
  
"Come on, Hunter, get up and fight back. Don't tell me that's all you've got." I taunted, before shoving him back down. I leaned down and glared at him angrily, so pissed off that I was out of breath. "You son of a bitch! Don't you EVER touch Stephanie again, you hear me?" I straightened and stumbled towards the door, rubbing my head. I stopped and leaned against the wall, trying to catch my breath. I watched him as he slowly got up to his knees.  
  
"You stupid bastard!" He shouted in pain, while I laughed. I looked to my side, and picked up the vase of flowers that was perched on another dresser. I felt the weight between my hands. Nice and heavy.  
  
"Hey Hunter!" I called. He was looking at his hand, which had blood on it. It was his own. He turned back to me, barely standing, but standing none the less. As soon as he was facing me again, I smashed the vase in his face. He fell down, out cold. I smirked and backed up, looking at the mess I had made. There was glass shattered everywhere.  
  
"Heads up, jackass." I mumbled, before walking over to the door. I unlocked it and stepped out, closing it behind me. I leaned back against it, taking a deep breath. That was the best therapy I had had in months. It was refreshing, and most importantly, satisfying. I got off the door and walked back over to the elevator. It was funny how I went from hating Stephanie to standing up for her in one night.  
  
All in all, it didn't matter to me. I walked out of the elevator and walked over to the exit, avoiding all the looks people gave me. I couldn't stop the cheesy grin from appearing on my face. I had gotten just a little revenge, and it tasted almost as sweet as Stephanie's kiss. Tonight, I was truly the king of the world. 


	10. Like The Wind

A/N: .. Same thing, characters are not and will never be owned by me.. ::Sigh:: .. but thank you guys for the reviews. There were 3 that didn't go through, but it's okay cuz I read them anyways. :D  
  
I was watching Dirty Dancing the other night.. and.. there's a song in the movie that goes well with this story! XD  
  
"She's Like The Wind" was done by Patrick Swayze .. not by me. -.o It's from Dirty Dancing, the movie. Enjoy! :D  
  
~ - ~  
  
I slowly got back in the car, expecting Stephanie to unleash an arsenal of questions on me. I got silence instead. I looked at her, but she was looking away from me, out her window. Maybe it was for the better. If she knew me, then she knew what I had done. There was nothing to talk about.  
  
"So where's your hotel?" I asked quietly as I started the car up. My knuckles were stinging like mad, and I could feel warm blood on them. I couldn't see it though, and I doubted Stephanie could either.  
  
"I was staying with Hunter." She answered, as she turned to look at me just as I glanced up at her. We made eye contact for a brief second before we both looked away.  
  
"Well, you shouldn't stay here." I decided, and she didn't argue with me. "Where's Shane?"  
  
"At home, with Mom." I sighed. This was not helping me.  
  
"Well what the hell do you want to do?" I demanded. "You want to stay here with Hunter?"  
  
She stayed quiet, while I struggled to keep my frustration with her in check. I could deal with Hunter, but Stephanie was something else.  
  
"Well? I'm talking to you, Stephanie." I said, annoyed.  
  
"No, Chris, I don't want to stay with Hunter." She replied, an edge to her tone.  
  
"Fine, that's all you had to say." I shot back. "We'll go to my hotel room, and I'll take you to the show tomorrow night. We can talk to your dad about this -"  
  
"You said you weren't going to tell anyone!" She cried out, spinning to face me angrily. I looked at her and this time, we maintained our eye contact. We were no more than a few inches apart from each other, each of us daring the other to back down. We both scowled simultaneously. I broke the silence by speaking up, quietly though.. stressing each syllable as if she were a child.  
  
"If I do not tell your father what he did to you.." I started, her eyes focused dangerously on mine. She was giving me that "look". I used to tell her that look could melt steel, but she wasn't intimidating me tonight. I was vaguely aware of my breaths becoming shorter, and my grip on the steering wheel becoming tighter. ".. and he finds out from someone else, or he thinks I kicked Triple H's ass for kicks, then he'll have my ass beaten from tomorrow night until the day I retire. Give me one reason why I should not tell your dad what happened tonight." I finished, daring her to say something, anything. A tense twenty seconds later, she broke our eye contact. That alone lifted the tension in the car.  
  
"Fine." She said, giving in. "Do what you have to do."  
  
"Fine." I repeated, not surprised that she had backed down. She owed me that much.  
  
The drive back to my hotel was a quiet one, and try as I could, I couldn't keep my head clear. Had it been any other girl, I wouldn't have been in this situation. Who had that kind of trust in me, to come to Chris Jericho of all people? They'd probably go to Kurt, or Steve Austin, or Kevin Nash, maybe Shawn Michaels.. but Chris Jericho? No one had the ability to look past the character I played for the cameras, the arrogance I showed in the ring. That is, no one except Stephanie. She looked past it all, even when I couldn't do it myself. I loved and hated that about her. All in all, only one thing stood clear.  
  
She had been in trouble, and had come to me for help.. and I had readily and willingly given it to her. If this was the case, why did I still feel empty inside? I should have been proud. Not anyone can leave Hunter in a pile of his own blood like that.  
  
When we got there, I got out of the car and walked up into the lobby, Stephanie following closely behind me. My hands felt like they were on fire, so I just kept them in my pockets. Stephanie had put her sunglasses back on, to avoid questions. There wasn't a real need for words at the time. We had a sort of connection. I knew what she wanted, and she knew what I needed.  
  
The ride up the elevator didn't even last a minute, but it felt like hours. Stephanie rubbed her arms while I looked up ahead, focusing on the floor numbers. Finally, I stepped out, feeling Stephanie close by me. She was never more than a foot away from me. For some reason, it had felt nice before, but now it bothered me. I spun around to face her.  
  
"Would you give me some damn breathing room here?" I snapped. She gave me a look of disgust as I opened the door to my room and stepped inside. I didn't bother holding the door for her.  
  
I walked over and took a seat by my phone, playing my answering machine. I had two new messages.  
  
"I'm tired. Where do I sleep?" Stephanie asked, standing at the doorway to the bedroom. The spoiled little girl inside of her was coming out. Look out.  
  
"On the floor." I answered, as I played my messages while her jaw dropped in shock of me even proposing the idea.  
  
"Yo, Chris!" I heard Christian's voice say on the machine, as I watched Stephanie disappear into my bathroom. I suddenly winced as I looked down at my knuckles for the first time that night. "Dude, you're not gonna believe this, but someone just KICKED Triple H's ass! I mean, TOTALLY destroyed him! It's awesome, man! Call me when you get in! Peace out, CJ!"  
  
I shook my right hand, trying to shake the sting off, and played the next message.  
  
"Hello Chris Jericho, this is Vince McMahon.."  
  
I turned off the machine and sighed heavily. I looked up to see Stephanie standing in front of me, wearing one of my t-shirts, which looked too big on her. She was also wearing one of my old, faded shorts.  
  
"Who gave you permission to wear my clothes?" I asked, as I continued shaking my hand.  
  
"Ha! You should be glad I'm even wearing your nasty clothes." She rolled her eyes and sat down on my bed. "Where do I sleep?"  
  
"I thought I said on the floor." I said, while she laughed sarcastically.  
  
"Don't be rude, Chris." She warned. I grabbed a pillow and got up.  
  
"You can take the bed." I went to leave, but before I did, I opened the drawer by the bed, and pulled out a new six-pack of beer cans. I turned to look at Stephanie, but she was already under the covers. She was laying on her side, her back towards me. I left the room and turned off the light.  
  
{She's like the wind, through my tree  
  
She rides the night next to me  
  
She leads me through moonlight  
  
Only to burn me with the sun  
  
She's taken my heart  
  
But she doesn't know what she's done}  
  
I glanced around the living room and tossed my pillow onto the sofa, which would serve as my bed for the night. I wasn't tired, though, so I stepped out onto the balcony. I collapsed on a lawn chair that someone had left there, sighing heavily. She hadn't even said thank you to me, or even good night for that matter. What kind of appreciation is that? I had just put my reputation on the line for her, and what did I get in return? A half-assed explanation?  
  
'She's playing me again.' I thought to myself as I opened a can of beer, not paying mind to the blood that was beginning to dry on my knuckles. Maybe I had expected something to change. I shook my head. Chris Jericho here, the biggest dumbass on the planet. Taking Hunter out had done wonders for me, but it was only a small piece in a bigger puzzle. I took a long chug out of my beer can, some of it spilling onto my shirt. Great, now I was an Austin wannabe. I scoffed and threw the can aside, then leaned back and closed my eyes.  
  
I had watched guys turn out like this for years, and had always laughed at them. "You idiots," I had once said. "You deserve to live miserable lives if you keep being dumbasses." Now look at me. I was no better. I was the world's biggest fool, such a moron, an idiot. What had I really expected from Stephanie? A thank you? That was too much to ask. Maybe the fans are right about me, after all. Maybe they really could look past my arrogance. Maybe everyone could see the obvious. I struggled to ignore the hurt that was swelling inside of me. If Stephanie knew the effects she had on me emotionally.. she could literally tear me apart, piece by piece.  
  
I was so warped up in my thoughts and frustration that I didn't know she was there until I felt her touch my hand. I winced unconsciously and pulled my hand back.  
  
"What happened to your hands?" She asked, quietly, while I kept my eyes closed. "Chris?"  
  
"What do you care." I mumbled. I felt her lift up my right hand and look at it more closely. "Why aren't you sleeping?"  
  
"My arms are kind of sore.."  
  
"I have ice." I suggested.  
  
"No, it's okay, Chris.. you shouldn't let this blood stay on your hands like this. Hang on a sec, I'll clean it up." I heard her walk back inside, and opened my eyes again. I hated when people got concerned about me, absolutely detested it. Stephanie came back out with a first-aid box that was in the bathroom.  
  
"It's mostly his blood." I said, shrugging as she grabbed my hand. "It's not a big deal."  
  
"You're bleeding, though. It could be a big deal if this gets infected, don't be stupid." She scolded. She wiped the blood off my hands, careful not to aggravate it even more.  
  
"It's been a while since I've hit someone so hard." She didn't answer me, as she cleaned my left hand. She pulled out bandages and gauze and began to wrap up my hand. I winced and pulled back.  
  
"Sorry.." She grabbed my hand and pulled it back. I looked on impatiently, but she was going very slowly, very gingerly. No one had ever been that gentle bandaging me up. It was almost relaxing. She knelt down in front of me when she was finished and put her hands on my knees, looking up at me. I was busy examining the job she had done on my hands.  
  
"Chris.. I just wanted to thank you for what you've done for me tonight." I nodded and shrugged, like if it were no big deal. "I was scared."  
  
"Yeah, it's fine." I answered, nonchalantly.  
  
"You have no idea how much I appreciate it.." She said softly. That's when my patience wore out.  
  
"I get it, you're welcome, what else do you want me to say?" I got up and walked back inside, Stephanie on my heels.  
  
"Damn it, Chris, I made a mistake. I'm sorry if I ruined your life, but I'm trying to make this work, I'm trying to FIX things!" She said, as I walked over to the bathroom. I flicked on the lights and opened a drawer, looking for my toothbrush. Who was I kidding? I just needed something to keep me preoccupied, so she wouldn't drive me crazy.  
  
"You can't fix it, Stephanie, what's done is done." I glanced up at her quickly in the mirror. She had her hands on her hips, and she looked visibly frustrated. Good. Let her feel a tinge of what I've felt all this time. "What did you expect? A simple, 'I'm sorry' and everything's fixed? Maybe it's not that simple, did you ever think of that?"  
  
"Yeah, but I don't know how to make it up to you. What do you want, Chris?" She asked, exasperated. I suddenly regretted this sharing room idea. I wanted space, right then and there. I didn't know how to answer her question. I didn't know what I wanted, but.. I didn't want this.  
  
"I want this to stop." I answered her, feeling as if there was some kind of fire creeping up inside of me. Maybe that was the hurt I had hidden for all this time. I looked up into the mirror for the first time, and cringed at my appearance. I needed a shave, and I looked like I hadn't slept in days. There were loose strands of hair in my face, and the top of my shirt was wet from spilling that beer just a few moments ago. I looked like a mess. I looked at myself, into my own eyes for some time. I didn't recognize the guy in the mirror.  
  
{I look in the mirror and all I see  
  
Is a young old man, with only a dream  
  
Am I just fooling myself  
  
That she'll stop the pain?  
  
Living without her  
  
I'd go insane}  
  
"Look at that." I said quietly, not able to tear my eyes from the guy staring back at me. I watched the mirror as the man's blue eyes seemed to glaze over. Poor bastard.  
  
"What, Chris?" She asked, pulling my left arm gently. I leaned on her a little bit, feeling tired.  
  
"The guy in the mirror. That's me." I mumbled, and she didn't answer me. I soon felt her cool hand on my forehead, before she felt my cheeks.  
  
"Are you okay?" She sounded concerned. "Did Hunter hit you?"  
  
"This is called a reflection." I said, ignoring her. "It's a reflection of yourself."  
  
".. You're scaring me, Chris.."  
  
"I'm scaring myself." I admitted, looking down, away from the mirror. My reflection disgusted me. "I'm not the same guy I used to be. I don't know who the guy is in the mirror."  
  
I squeezed my eyes shut, suddenly regretting every word I was telling her. Why should she know what's going on inside my head? So she could use it against me the next time she deemed fit? I bit my lip, resisting a growing urge to cry. Of all the women in the world, why did I have to fall for her?  
  
I didn't feel her pull me away from the mirror until she had wrapped me in a tight hug. I think that's when it finally hit her how much she hurt me, but I was too worked up to be glad, or to even care. Much as I wanted to, I willed myself and did not break down in tears in her embrace. I was stronger than that, but I could taste one tear that did manage to escape me.  
  
Stephanie pulled away from me and moved the hair strands out of my face. I looked up at her slowly, as she ran a hand through my hair. It felt unnervingly good and almost gave me chills.  
  
"Chris, I'm so sorry.." She leaned up close to me, until we were about an inch apart. I couldn't take it anymore, and leaned in the rest of the way, covering her lips with mine. I reached up to stroke her hair, my bandaged hand trembling with my burning desire for her. I was a broken man without her, I needed her to keep me sane. She wrapped her arms back around me and deepened the kiss. Without words, I was granting her a second chance.  
  
I just hoped that I wasn't making a big mistake.  
  
{Feel her breath on my face  
  
Her body close to me  
  
Can't look in her eyes  
  
She's out of my league  
  
Just a fool to believe  
  
I have anything she needs  
  
She's like the wind}  
  
~ - ~ 


	11. My Strength & Weakness

Sorry it's taken so long x_x; .. I've been super busy but I haven't forgotten about this story. Just had some writers block lol. Sorry again. Hope you guys like. :D  
  
This doesn't follow any of the current storylines. It's all my stuff. o_O; .. Though I might use some references here and there to real storylines. I made it longer to make up for the fact that I haven't updated in forever. Enjoy :)  
  
I don't own any of the names I use. Disturbed owns the song "Remember"  
  
~  
  
][Sensation washes over me  
  
I can't describe it  
  
Pain I felt so long ago  
  
I don't remember][  
  
"Hey assclown, mind hurrying up a little bit?" I asked impatiently. The staff worker glanced up at me briefly, nervously, then looked back down at his clipboard. I rolled my eyes and looked up at the ceiling, before he finally answered.  
  
"You have a match with Maven tonight." He finally said.  
  
"Thank you. Now get your useless self back to work." I demanded, and he turned and walked quickly away from me. I smirked and suddenly felt someone hug me from behind.  
  
"You're too mean."  
  
"Can't help it." I said as she let go and I turned around. I pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly, relishing in the fact that she was mine again. It had only been about three days since we had had that talk back in my hotel room. Things weren't the greatest, as a matter of fact, they were awkward a large part of the time. It needed work, but most of all it needed time.  
  
"Don't squeeze too tight. I have to breathe, you know." Stephanie said jokingly before laughing.  
  
"Yeah, I know." I let her go and leaned in, kissing her gently. She wrapped her arms around my neck and deepened the kiss. Moments like those made me forget about our past. It pushed away all of the hurt. If only she could understand how much I really loved her..  
  
Her cell phone suddenly rang, and she pulled away from me to answer it. I sighed longingly and looked away as she talked. I snuck a look back over at her. She was dressed like a true professional.. her hair was down and it was curled, and she had just the right amount of makeup on. She was absolutely stunning. She also did an amazing job of covering up that bruise around her eye.. I felt my fists clench up as I remembered who the source of that was.  
  
"Alright.. I'll be there." She hung up and turned back to me. "Sorry Chris, I have to go to a meeting. Short notice."  
  
I shrugged like I didn't care. She sighed and stepped back up to me, kissing me on the cheek and touching my arm for a brief second.  
  
"I'll see you later. Stay out of trouble." She instructed.  
  
"Sure thing.." I said before watching her take her leave. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding, and then leaned back against the wall. This was what I wanted, right?  
  
][Tear a hole so I can see  
  
My devastation  
  
Feelings from so long ago  
  
I don't remember][  
  
I heard shuffling around and glanced over at my side, seeing someone who I still had unfinished business with. I smirked unconsciously and pushed myself off the wall, before walking over. I took a look around, and to my satisfaction, no one was around.  
  
"You want to know something funny," I said, in a tone that I couldn't even quite figure out. It was cold and bitter, yet calm at the same time. He straightened at the sound of my voice. "I once respected you."  
  
He turned around to face me, his expression dark. I really did a number on him. That made my smirk grow to a smile, which only served to piss him off.  
  
"What are you smiling about, asshole?! Look at what you did to me! LOOK!" He shouted, yelling as he pointed to the bandage on his forehead. I made a hissing sound as if it hurt me, and nodded, faking concern.  
  
"I see.. pretty bad." I nodded. "But you want to know something Hunter?"  
  
"What?" He asked angrily. I suddenly reached out to him and pushed him back against the wall behind him. He winced when I did, but I didn't care. I stood on the tips of my toes to try and seem taller, but I could make up the difference in height very quickly. Keeping my grip on his shirt, I leaned up to him.  
  
"You tell anyone that it was me who fucked you up that night, and I'll make it ten times worse next time; plus you can kiss your job away." I said in an even voice. I surprised my own self by my threat. Triple H looked more surprised than intimidated too. I suddenly couldn't resist, and leaned in a little closer, my mouth close to his ear, as if I was about to tell him a secret.  
  
"She was mine way before she even knew your name." I whispered, and then he shoved me off of him. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on his face. It was priceless, and I loved it.  
  
"So YOU were that asshole she was with before she was with me.." He said, realization in his tone. I smirked and spread my arms out, shrugging.  
  
"The one and only baby." I grinned at him, while he stood there, fuming. Suddenly, he seemed to relax and then, he grinned himself. I looked at him, confused. "What?" I asked.  
  
"You obviously weren't getting the job done because she ran right into my arms, without giving you a second thought." He said smugly.  
  
"Yeah? Well who's she with now?" I asked arrogantly.  
  
"If she's with you, then let me tell you, it's not gonna last, buddy." He said, getting closer to me. For some reason, I let him. "You couldn't satisfy her then, you sure as hell are not going to do it now. Let it go, Chris. She'll never truly be yours."  
  
"What's going on here?"  
  
We both turned at the sound of Vince McMahon's voice. I took a step back from Triple H, his words repeating themselves in my head.  
  
"Nothing." I answered shortly, and then turned and walked off, before Vince could ask me anything else. He wasn't right, I told myself. It wasn't true. Why the hell was I giving what HUNTER said any thought? I shook my head. I needed Stephanie.  
  
][Holding on, to let them know  
  
What's given to me  
  
To hide behind  
  
The mask this time  
  
And try to believe][  
  
I heard footsteps behind me, and I sighed impatiently. The footsteps got nearer and I looked over my shoulder. I slowed down and let Christian catch up to me. He had his hand out and I stuck mine out, and we high-fived.  
  
"C-Man! What's up man? Where you been?" He asked as he fell into step with me.  
  
"Around." I shrugged, Hunter still on my mind. I wondered what he was telling Vince. Nothing like he told me, that was for sure.  
  
"Chris? Something wrong?" Christian said, and that snapped me out of it.  
  
"No, sorry. What were you saying?"  
  
"Are the rumors true?"  
  
I turned to look at him, frowning. Part of the reason I couldn't stand the majority of my co-workers was because none of them could keep a damn secret to save their lives. Word spread like a wildfire in the locker rooms.  
  
"What are they saying this time?" I asked, sighing.  
  
"Something about you and Stephanie being together? Dude, is that true?" He asked, prying as I walked faster. He stepped it up to keep up with me.  
  
"I guess you can say that." I said, not sure of where I was going, but not wanting to go to the locker room just yet. I could deal with talking to one person at a time, maybe two, but a whole crowd of nosy wrestlers? No way. I wouldn't last before snapping on someone, and I didn't have enough friends to truly start something like that.  
  
"Man.. I don't know, Chris." He said, shaking his head. I shot a look of steel at him and he raised his hands defensively.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.  
  
"You're whipped for her, huh?" He said, before reaching his arm out for me to stop walking. I stopped and my fists clenched up for some reason. "Chris, we're friends, right?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'd say we are. Why?" I asked.  
  
"Friends are supposed to be honest. I think I know you, Chris. You're too.. you and Stephanie, I don't think that's going to work."  
  
".. Excuse me?" I asked, in complete disbelief. For the first time in a long time, I was almost rendered speechless. Where the hell was he coming up with this? If I wasn't so caught off guard with his bold statement, I might have been angry enough to knock his lights out. Friend or no friend.  
  
"Chris.. how can you trust her?" He asked softly so no one else could hear.  
  
"I'll take my chances." I said, not wanting to remember anything. I felt myself getting dizzy, so I rubbed the back of my head. Where was Stephanie when I needed her?  
  
"Look at you. You're my friend, we're cool and everything, but Chris.. you and Stephanie are complete opposites. I know they say opposites attract but.. you two just seem so far apart, too far apart. She's such a sweet girl, she really is, she's changed. But you, you're stuck.. to be frank, you're not up to her level.. she doesn't deserve a guy like us -"  
  
"You know what?" I said, cutting him off. "Shut up."  
  
"See, that's what I meant - "  
  
"What the fuck did I just say?!" I shouted. He sighed and looked down, nodding.  
  
"Okay, okay."  
  
"Thank you." I said sarcastically.  
  
"You should lighten up though. It wouldn't kill you." He looked at his watch. "Damn, I gotta run. I'm gonna be late. I was supposed to call someone.."  
  
"Yeah yeah, just go." I said, dismissing him with my hand before turning away. I walked away and could hear him jogging away, in the opposite direction. I ran a hand through my hair. I should have been happy, and instead, I was being even more edgy than usual. What the hell was wrong with me?  
  
][Blind your eyes to what you see  
  
You can't embrace it  
  
Leave it well enough alone  
  
And don't remember][  
  
Sighing, I stopped walking and sat down against the nearest wall. I pulled my knees up to my chest and crossed my arms over them, burying my face and closing my eyes. What was up? Why couldn't I just keep control of my temper?  
  
I stayed to myself, trying to hide from everyone, ignoring everyone, so I didn't notice when she sat down next to me until she touched me. I looked up at her, her bright blue eyes, full of concern for me.  
  
"Chris.." Stephanie said, stroking my hair. "What's wrong?"  
  
"I don't know. Everything I guess." I mumbled. She put her arm around me, no longer caring who saw, and hugged me close. I sighed and let her, relishing her mere touch.  
  
"Triple H is not going to say it was you. He knows." She said, while she rubbed my arm as she held me closely.  
  
"I figured as much." I said, and she suddenly pulled away. I looked up at her as she stood up, and followed her lead as I got up to my feet. We made eye contact, and everything Christian said ran through my mind. I shook my head. We were starting over from scratch. Things were different.  
  
"You okay, Chris?" I saw sincere concern on her face, and was about to break down and tell her everything that was going on, how confused I really was, how much I had changed into a complete asshole without even realizing it, how insecure I really was.. what Hunter had said.. when her pager went off. She turned away from me to check the number.  
  
"Hang on." She said. I sighed and closed my eyes, rubbing the back of my neck while she called the person back on her cell phone. I stood and waited, thinking maybe it would be over with quickly. Five minutes passed, and then ten. She must have forgotten that I was there. I looked off to the side, and saw Christian and Angle talking. Christian pointed over in my direction, and I saw Angle shake his head. I made eye contact with Kurt for a second, and he gave me a knowing look.  
  
I looked back at Stephanie. There she was.. on the phone, doing business, writing down notes on the nearest table, taking down information.. a true businesswoman. Here I was, just a confused man who didn't know why he acted or felt the way he did. I suddenly felt a huge rift between us and realized how different we really were. Christian was right. We were entirely different.  
  
][Cut your pride and watch it bleed  
  
You can't deny it  
  
Pain you know you can't ignore  
  
I don't remember][  
  
Finally, she got off.  
  
"Okay!" She said, finally turning back to me. She gave me her smile. My heart began to ache for some reason. "So. What were you saying?"  
  
"Do you even care?" I asked quietly, in fear that I'd lose my control if I spoke louder. She heard me anyways.  
  
"Of course I care!" She asked, looking at me as if I were crazy to think that she didn't.  
  
"Stephanie, Mr. McMahon needs to see you." Someone interrupted, and Stephanie turned to him. He was the same staff worker I had been messing with earlier. I looked at Stephanie, and turned away, my old feelings of hurt returning quickly.  
  
"Tell him I'm busy with my boyfriend." She answered curtly.  
  
"But it's important ma'am." He said. She sighed as I kept my back to her, looking down at the floor. I closed my eyes so no one could see the tears that were beginning to form. I knew her all too well. I was such an idiot.  
  
"Alright.. I'll be there in five minutes. It had better be EARTH- SHATTERING, you hear me?" She said, annoyance in her voice.  
  
"I'll go tell him you'll go then." I could hear him walking away, and then a few seconds later, felt her hand on my shoulder.  
  
"I'll be really fast Chris, and then we'll talk.. okay?" She asked as she squeezed my shoulder. I just nodded, and just like that, she was gone.  
  
She was the reason for my insecurities. She was my strength, yet she was my weakness. I hadn't recovered from the damage our past had done to me. I was a new person from the first man she met. She didn't seem to care, but she wasn't there for me like she used to be. It seemed as if just because we were together, things had just fixed themselves to her.  
  
Well, things didn't work like that. The rest of the night passed in a blur. I waited for Stephanie to come back, but minutes passed, and minutes turned into hours, and then it was time for my match against Maven.  
  
The match dragged. Stephanie was on my mind the whole time. A good five minutes into the match, I remembered where I was, and suddenly, everything I felt came rushing through me. The pain from the past, the confusion, the anger.. I suddenly had to unleash it. I grabbed Maven and locked him in the Walls within seconds, and he tapped out.  
  
I didn't let go. She was going to ignore me again? I didn't think so. I bent my knees a little and pulled back more, Maven's screams and the shouting of the referees for me to let go draining out to my ears. I wasn't just some play toy Stephanie had that she could keep coming back to whenever SHE felt like it. I felt my anger growing with myself for being stupid enough to believe that things could change..  
  
][I'm just holding on, to let them know  
  
What's given to me  
  
To hide behind the mask this time  
  
And try to believe][  
  
They yanked me off of him, and out of my thoughts. I dropped and rolled out of the ring, and walked up the ramp, to loud boos and "asshole" chants from the fans. I suddenly smirked and turned around, spreading my arms out, and soaking up their hatred for me. It was bitter-sweet and I loved it. It was so easy to be hated, but oh so difficult to be loved.  
  
I walked backstage and walked past all the wrestlers that were there, ignoring them. I went to walk past Christian when he reached out and grabbed my arm. I pulled free of him and kept walking. I didn't want to hear it anymore.  
  
I walked right into the locker room, into a barrage of questions from the boys that were there.  
  
"Jericho, you don't look so good."  
  
"Yeah, what's eating you?"  
  
I ignored them, went and grabbed my bags, then turned to leave.  
  
"Who cares what he's going through?"  
  
"Just leave him alone. He doesn't care about anything."  
  
I stopped at the door, thinking about saying something, but decided against it. They were just like the fans. Totally clueless. That wasn't my problem. I walked out and headed towards the exit, when I heard her call me.  
  
"Chris, wait!" She shouted. I froze, though everything inside of me was telling me to keep walking. She caught up to me, stepping in front of me. I was looking down at the floor, and she tilted my head back up so we were making eye contact.  
  
][If I can  
  
Remember  
  
To know this  
  
Will conquer me][  
  
"What?" I asked, feeling as if she could see right through me.  
  
"You need to learn to keep your temper in check." She said, frowning. "You can't go around trying to injure every guy you can!"  
  
"Oh." I said, realizing what she was talking about. "I didn't mean to hurt Maven -"  
  
"This isn't the first time Chris!" She snapped.  
  
"I said I didn't mean it!" I snapped back. "Besides, it was your fault!"  
  
"My fault? Oh yeah, I really made you keep that hold on him. I was out there telling you to keep it on for as long as you did, right?" I went to answer, but she didn't let me. "And then, look at what you did to Hunter!"  
  
"..You're kidding me, right?" I asked, in total disbelief. Surely, my ears must have been deceiving me. I looked into her eyes, and all I saw was anger.  
  
"You didn't have to hurt him that bad!"  
  
"THAT BAD?!" I shouted, making her jump. I felt my heart pounding in my chest. "I did what I did for YOU! You can't even understand that!"  
  
"Don't yell at me, Chris." She said warningly.  
  
"Don't yell Chris, don't hit him, Chris, why'd you do that, Chris." I said, mocking her. "You know what? I'm sick of this bullshit. Do you even realize that you've been ignoring me this whole day?"  
  
"I have NOT!" She said indignantly. "I had things to do!"  
  
"Things to do," I scoffed. "Funny how when you were with Hunter, you blew everything off for him, right?"  
  
"Do NOT bring that up now." Her eyes narrowed angrily.  
  
"Why not? Because it's true?" I asked.  
  
"Chris, why are you being so selfish?" She demanded.  
  
"Why are you so unreachable?" I asked, exasperated, with angry tears filling my eyes. The anger finally left her eyes, and she reached out to touch me.  
  
"Ms. McMahon. You're needed in Mr. McMahon's office." Someone called out.  
  
"Just go." I muttered, looking away. I suddenly didn't want to be so close to her.  
  
"Chris, I promise, we'll talk as soon as I get back to the hotel, okay? I promise you that." She said, taking my hand in hers. She raised it up to her hands and kissed it. "I'll see you later tonight." With that, she was gone. Again. I stood for a moment, not moving. I wiped at my eyes, and took a deep breath. I was Chris Jericho. I didn't need this. I didn't need anyone.  
  
Maybe Hunter and Christian were both right after all. 


	12. I'm Okay

I felt the chill as soon as I stepped out of the arena ten minutes later. It was refreshing to be outside. I sighed and made my way over to my car. I needed to be alone and think. Maybe it was a good thing Stephanie wasn't with me at the moment. If only things could go back.. but there was no point in wishing. I had to live in the present and stop thinking about the past. I needed to just start over.. a beer didn't sound so bad..  
  
"Jericho, don't you hear me talking to you, boy? You ignoring me now too?" I heard a voice say as I got to my car. I looked up to see none other than Ric Flair, leaning against my car. Great, just what I needed..  
  
"I'm not in the mood." I said lowly as I headed over to him. He was leaning on the driver side. I looked at him for a few seconds, expecting him to move out of my way.  
  
"Well, that's too bad!" He yelled as he pushed himself off my car. He took a step towards me, making me lean back. "There are things that need to be cleared up!"  
  
"Look, I don't need this right now, okay?" I snapped, frustration building inside of me. When would the night end? "So just move your old Jurassic Park ass out of my way so I can get the hell out of here already!" I gave him half-a-second to comply, before shoving him forcefully out of my way. I didn't have the patience anymore.  
  
I frowned and reached into my pocket, searching for the key to my car. I didn't find them, but I kept searching all of my pockets as my thoughts somehow drifted back to Stephanie. The effect that woman was having on me was inexcusable. Since when had I become so attached? Of course, deep down I knew the answer. It made me feel so pathetic.. so weak to be so vulnerable. I was supposed to be hard.. untouchable..  
  
"Looking for something?" I heard a familiar voice ask from behind me, which stopped my search for my keys and my thoughts on Stephanie. I took a deep breath as I straightened, and could mentally see Ric Flair smirking behind me. I spoke slowly and deliberately.  
  
"Give me back my keys."  
  
"Aw shucks Chris, have we no manners? Ya forgot to say please, kid." He replied. That was it. I wanted to leave and I was through talking to this stubborn old mule.  
  
"You know what?" I said as I turned around, but I never got the chance to follow up the question before I saw something being swung at me. I tried to get a hand up but it was too late. I felt the impact and briefly recognized the taste of a steel chair, before falling down. I covered my face and rolled over, blaming myself for not seeing this coming.  
  
"You like that, Jericho? You mess with Hunter, you mess with all of us!" I heard that cocky son of a bitch Randy Orton say. I wanted to reach out and give him his, but I was barely recovering from his chair shot. I was suddenly rolled back over and yanked up to my feet. I was going to have one hell of a headache now.  
  
"You thought you could get away with it?! NO ONE MESSES WITH US, ESPECIALLY NOT A PUNK LIKE YOU!!" The man yelled, making my ears ring. I blinked and looked up at the person who had the grip on my jacket. I saw a slightly blurred sight of Batista, and he didn't look too happy. "This is for Triple H!" He finished shouting, and I thought I heard Flair and Orton snicker. I winced and tried to get out of his grip, but I was still feeling that chair shot.  
  
Batista knew it and took full advantage. He kneed me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me and making me double over. It only then occurred to me that these guys were on me for what I had done to Hunter. I had been so preoccupied with Hunter telling Vince, that I forgot he had his own crew to do the payback for him. How stupid could I be?  
  
I could barely react before Batista had me lifted up onto his shoulders. I knew this was going to hurt. Why had I even done that to Hunter, to get this treatment? 'Because of Stephanie.' My mind automatically answered. I braced myself, with the last thing registering before he powerbombed me on the concrete being Ric Flair hitting his trademark "whooo".  
  
"Watch who you cross next time. Don't mess with Evolution, Jericho, cause that's messing with the best!" I faintly heard Ric Flair say. "Oh, here are your keys. Have a nice night." He dropped the keys next to me, and I heard them all take their leave.  
  
I closed my eyes, not moving from where I landed, the pain becoming unbearable. The chair shot, I could somewhat handle, but this was bad. I wasn't ready at all for a three-on-one attack. My head felt like it had exploded after Batista slammed me against the ground. Maybe it had and I just couldn't see it. My thoughts once again drifted back to Stephanie as my senses began to fade. The things I went through for her..  
  
I wondered where she was. She seemed too busy for me. Maybe she really was out of my league. It was like I was an obligation to her or something.. my thoughts trailed as I felt the pain begin to intensify and my muscles stiffen. He had really put some force into that powerbomb. I grit my teeth and forced myself to bear it. It would die down after a few minutes anyways.  
  
Maybe the problem between me and Stephanie was a lack of communication, I thought to myself. We weren't open like we used to be. There was also the trust issue. Had I rushed back into our relationship? I didn't want to believe that. Why would she lie to me again? She did once and she said it hurt her, unless of course, that was all a bunch of lies too.. now I wasn't even thinking clearly.  
  
"Chris! Wake up!" I recognized her voice, but it seemed so distant. I suddenly felt her hands on me. How long had she been there? It had only felt like a few seconds since Evolution had left.. "Chris!" She shouted, this time her voice coming in clearer and louder. This time I picked up on the worry in her voice, and shifted my weight a little. I winced, mentally cursing Hunter for this fiasco. I opened my eyes back up slowly and looked up at her. I thought I saw tears in her eyes from relief.  
  
"Chris.. are you okay?" She asked, obviously concerned. I nodded and lifted up my hand slowly to her. Ignoring the hellacious headache I now had, I focused only on her. I reached up to her cheek and gently caressed it with the back of my hand. I smirked a little when I saw her shudder, but I didn't know if it was from the cold, or from my touch. She took my hand in hers. Her hand felt warm.  
  
"Come on, Chris." She said as she offered to take my other hand. I closed my eyes again, already visualizing myself beating the living hell out of Evolution for this. For some reason though, it wasn't as violent of a scenario as it normally would have been. I felt her tapping the side of my face then. "I think we should take you to a hospital." I heard her say.  
  
"No." I said, shaking my head. I refused to give them that satisfaction. I looked back up at her and took her other hand. She helped me sit up slowly. My head was pounding and felt like it was going to fall off. I winced and leaned forward, and suddenly, I felt her touch me.  
  
Her touch was so tender, it made me forget about everything that had happened that night. It soothed out the pain in my head as she gently massaged my temples. Nothing else mattered. Everything disappeared, and suddenly, it was just me and Stephanie. It felt so good, I didn't want her to stop.  
  
She moved down from my temples to the sides of my neck, and then down to my shoulders. Her touch brought warmth back into my system and eased the pain. I sighed as she eventually finished, and we made eye contact. The cold look that I had grown so accustomed to in the past was gone. Her usual sharp eyes were replaced with softened ones. And they were for me. I was indeed one lucky man.  
  
"Chris? What's wrong?" She said, snapping her fingers in front of my eyes. She watched me carefully with a keen eye. I felt something inside of me do a flip-flop under her careful observation. I had gone through so much for this woman, and I had always deemed it out of stupidity. That wasn't it. It was just love, pure and simple. It was simple yet so overwhelming, that it hurt when she ignored me. She had the power to hurt me, but she also had the power to help me.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?" She tore in, and I slowly shook my head.  
  
"I'm sure." I answered, before starting to stand. She was at my side instantly. It took a moment, and Stephanie to lean on, but then I was standing. After I got my own balance, I let go of her. I looked down at myself and slowly dusted myself off, before seeing her feet as she stepped in front of me. She tilted my head back up so we were again making eye contact.  
  
"Chris, I'm sorry." She said honestly, and I shrugged it off casually.  
  
"It's no big deal." She sighed at my response, while I leaned back against my car. I was going to be very sore the next day.  
  
"It is a big deal, to me it is. I didn't realize it, but I was ignoring you, and I feel bad for it. I know.."  
  
"Stephanie -" I started, but she raised her hand. I knew better than to keep going, so she continued.  
  
"I know that you're still hurt, and I should be more considerate." She stated simply.  
  
"You have work to do, it's okay. I just overreacted.. I'm sorry if I was being a dick, I'm just learning to let go.." I winced and rubbed my lower back. "I'm learning, and I'm sorry." I finished.  
  
"You have nothing to be sorry about, it's all my fault." She continued, and when I went to say something, she raised her hand again. "No Chris, it is. I'm sorry about everything, and if it makes anything right, I just want you to know that I am sorry, and I do care about you. I love you, Chris. I want you to be happy."  
  
I looked down and nodded, and then felt her step up to me and give me a gentle hug. She wrapped her arms around my waist in such a way so as not to hurt me. I sighed and pulled her closer, not caring if it hurt more. I just wanted to feel her against me. I held her close for a good minute, not letting go. She was the only thing worth getting up for, and I never wanted to let her go. We stood content in each other's arms, until she looked back up at me.  
  
"I love you, Stephanie." I blurted out, and she laughed.  
  
"Sure you don't just have a concussion and are just rambling?" She asked playfully.  
  
"I have a headache, not a concussion, and I'm not rambling. It's just the truth." I shrugged, not letting go of her. "I'm going to be here to protect you." I added.  
  
"Well.. I'm going to be here to take care of you." She said, snuggling in closer against my chest. Her hands moved up my back, slowly massaging my sore muscles. I winced but then eased at her touch. "Chris?" She asked quietly.  
  
"Yeah, Steph?" I answered, as I leaned my head on her shoulder. She stopped massaging me but kept her arms around me.  
  
"Are you okay?" She asked. I didn't move and waited for a few seconds before answering. I sighed and straightened, and she looked up at me.  
  
"Now I am." I said quietly, seeing her eyes light up brightly. I smiled a little before leaning in to kiss her. I felt nothing short of happiness when she kissed me back, an emotion I had not honestly felt in years. She was mine again. Nothing else mattered anymore.  
  
I had my queen, and now I was finally complete.  
  
~ Dee End ~  
  
:)  
  
R&R n' lemme know whatcha think lol ;P 


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